Sunday, January 30, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
So. I got myself all worked up thinking about the State of the Union address.
I'm completely unplugged and have no clue what's going on by choice but decided I would pay attention
and have something intelligent and insightful to say.
Cause I like to make a good impression.
OK. So no cable. No television. Cause I'm that kind of mom. No ads. No crap.
Earlier I checked CNN and it looked like they would be streaming the address.
Available on iPad.
No to ads. No to crap. Yes to iPad.
8:58. live stream of state of the union is so NOT available on iPad.
9:00. kicked Mia off facebook to stream the address on the computer
9:01. fuck you CNN why can't I find the stream?
9:02. google and follow link to hulu. I can do hulu. I used to watch LOST on hulu.
9:04. finally. hulu streaming Fox coverage of the address
Somewhere along the line I saw that Fox would cover the address and the Republican response.
AND the Tea Party response.
Tea Party response????
Since when does the Tea Party get to respond?
What about the Green Party response?
oh. right. fox
following are the texts to Sister Halona as I'm watching the LIVE STREAM of the State of the Union Address
me: watching address on hulu=fox. asshole announcer just called attny gen 'Eric Canter' WTF?
it's eric holder dumbass
m: fox reporter shephard smith. asshole
m: ITS NOT FUNNY
h: no-its not funny
h: on 13 the announcer said congrsswmn sheila jackson lee (d-tx) is not there b/c shes seriously ill. then the camera went to pres hugging sheila jackson lee
Obama hands Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi copies of the address
m: just read caption Majority Floor Services Chief as Majority Food Services Chef and was like who cares abt the caterer?
h: I CARE about the food!
m: hmmm dont know whether to laugh or cry
h: 3 sup ct justices arent there
Nancy Pelosi announces the President of the United States
Michelle Obama is wearing a plum colored dress
???? a little festive for these times, no?
I'm looking at Obama and Biden and Pelosi and thinking I know I have my head up my ass but I thought Pelosi had vamoosed
Obama is saying it's his first state of the union address
Ty and Mia are watching with me cause, you know, it's important and I'm that kind of mom
Ty says ummm... mom...??
Mia points to the date above the big fox live banner
January 26, 2010
I almost fell off my chair I was laughing so hard.
The kids are looking at me like I have 2 heads
9:23 back to texting
m: ok so ummm i just realized im watching the state of the union address 2010. aack
m: im such an idiot
Ty found the REAL live stream for me on ABC
That's all I have to say about the State of the Union address
From now on I'll just keep my head up my ass thankyouverymuch
wednesday addendum: my most significant observation was the dead look in the eyes of the vets from Iraq. It hurt my heart.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
So it's not that early. The sun is coming up. The kids are still asleep.
We all have the day off. I will try to listen to BAI's daylong tribute to Dr. King.
They always do a good one.
I've been away from blogland this week. I haven't even read very much.
There's too much going on in my head and I'm distracted and restless.
It's all good, though. Nothing too crazy. Just a whole lot of intensity.
And a whole lot of Unbloggable
I'm single. For good.
I've been through far worse. This is OK. Really not bad at all.
It's almost good in a really masochistic fucked up kinda way just kidding
It's actually liberating. I feel a sense of freedom that I've never felt before.
But I continue to ask for understanding and clarity and for the obstacles to be removed.
I try not to push and plow through in order to get what I think I want.
I remind myself to breathe and un-hunch my shoulders and stop clenching my teeth.
Cause that shit's giving me a goddam headache.
For the most part, it's working.
I've been in a fully committed relationship for almost 20 years.
And more than half of it was so unbelievably awesome.
We thought we were invincible. We thought we'd grow old together.
We thought we'd retire and spend our golden years driving around the country in a winnebago.
Seriously. That's what we thought.
We never ever dreamed that life and genetics and brain chemistry could sneak up on us and knock us on our asses and change us to the point that there could be no more Winnebago Dream. No more Chica and Brucie
But we've always been solid solid solid Friends. Really good friends.
Can Tell almost Anything To friends.
We know each other really well.
We are friends again still. And it hasn't taken years to get here. Only weeks.
the Universe is Abundant
Nancy at Away We Go wrote a beautiful piece about The Smog in our lives.
We are the blessed ones for whom the smog illuminates.
Listen to Dr. King today if you get a chance. Streaming on wBAI.org.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
I'm having trouble sleeping for a variety of reasons.
I wake up at 2 or 4 and my brain starts ticking and then it's all over.
This too shall pass
These early mornings have become my favorite time of the day. The kids are asleep.
I can read or write or whatever with a cup of coffee and have a moment's peace before the mayhem begins.
I used to love working 12 hr days, if only for the reason that by the time I got home, the Who's would be all a snooze and I'd have a window of alone time before Bruce got home.
A home full of sleeping babies is a wondrous thing.
But now they're Big.
The boys are still up when I walk in the door. They feel the need to catch up on 12 hours without Mom for which I should be thankful i am but I really just want to curl up in bed with some hot wings and a fizzy drink. So at 10 and 13, they still want to tell me about their days, are tempted to follow me into the bathroom when I go to pee they refrain, and want good night hugs.
There are worse things.
Mia, thankfully is usually conked out.
So these early I can't sleep there's too much shit in my head and only half my brain is working mornings are lovely in a way.
I put the insanely gorgeous children picture back up cause it makes me happy.
They are insanely gorgeous. It makes my heart hurt.
They're also awesome and miraculous.
I started reading The Lovely Bones. I've refused to read it for years.
I can handle Dead Kids better than most but there are certain things I can't do.
I can't watch Precious.
The scene in Beloved when Oprah's character is raped by the slave owner and his sons?
Can't do that either.
The girl in Utah. The girl in the tent in the crazy guy's back yard.
Can't do that shit. Makes me feel like I'm gonna throw up.
Which is weird cause before we were cable-less I was totally junked out on Law and Order SVU.
Bruce used to come home and say chica how can you watch this it's so disturbing.
I guess some things seem fake and some things seem are real.
SVU? Hot cops, lots of drama, so not real.
The other stuff? Entirely too real. That's the problem.
So. The Lovely Bones. A good read.
But it's made me paranoid.
I give my kids a pretty long leash. I refuse to live in fear. I refuse to make my kids afraid.
I don't want to think there are dangerous predators around every corner.
Even if there are.
I remember being free as a kid. Out all day in the summer. Wandering in the woods for hours.
You know what I'm talking about.
CPS might totally nail me with "lack of supervision" if given the opportunity, but I want my kids to have as much of that sense of freedom as they possibly can.
Still, it's hard to explain to Mia why she can't go to the park without her brothers, or have a sleepover at just any friend's house.
You know what I mean.
So yesterday morning, Jack leaves for school a few minutes late.
I see him sprint down the block and think god he's so fucking handsome and graceful just like my dad
30 seconds later, I see a gray sedan with BEACON CITY SCHOOLS on the side panel drive by.
We've lived in this town for 6 years. My kids have gone to these schools for 6 years.
I don't ever recall seeing what essentially looks like an unmarked police car claiming to belong to the school district.
Our school budgets never pass the first time around. The district has no money.
School district cars?
Fuck you Lovely Bones. Fuck you for making by brain visit Creepdom at 7:30 in the morning.
What would Jack do if he's running late for school and a car claiming BEACON CITY SCHOOLS pulls up and a guy with weird facial hair wearing a hat and sunglasses says hey, son, wanna ride to the middle school? i'm on my way there
Thank god for texting
Me: U ok? Just got this weird feeling. Txt me back
Me: Sorry.paranoid mom stuff. So not like me. saw a plain grey car with beacon city school district on the side and thought someone was goin all lovely bones on us
Jack: Stop reading that book -_-
All right. Sun is up. Kids are up. Me time is up.
ps. Jack just told me the district has had those cars for 3 years to transport kids to out of district schools.
Cars. Cheaper than buses.
The Board of Ed is now saved from a crazy paranoid email from a crazy paranoid mom
the Universe is Abundant
Your fairy is called Columbine Icedancer
She is a bone chilling bringer of justice for the vulnerable.
She lives in mushroom fields and quiet meadows.
She is only seen when the bees swarm and the crickets chirrup.
She wears lilac and purple like columbine flowers. She has icy blue butterfly wings.