Sundays in My City: Late Edition

the beautiful and talented

Unknown Mami

hosts

come fly with us

Alicia Keys rocks when she sings

about this town

we trekked through the snow and

met up with my youngest sister

and her family

for

DIM SUM

yum

Chinatown

dim sum guy

dim sum

and more dim sum

a few of our happy children

post dim sum

stuffed like shrimp dumplings

then uptown for

holiday lights

Mia loved the Sephora windows

Saks Fifth Avenue

more Saks

and more

kinda weird, huh?

six red gowns at Saks

this one was Mia's favorite

Valentino

of course

silver and gold at Rockefeller Center

ice skaters

the spires of St Patrick's Cathedral

these streets will make you feel brand new

big lights will inspire you

let's hear it for New York

Are You Kidding Me??

Do you know what this is???

This is the view from my front door this morning. ONE INCH. This inch of snow caused Ty's super special-we can't wait-huge part of our holiday season concert to be cancelled. A concert that's so special it was to be held an hour north in a beautiful theater that hosts events such as the Moscow Ballet. And it was cancelled. For the nor'easter. That didn't hit here.

crappy phone pict

look how happy and proud

that kid was

after rehearsal yesterday morning

Right. So. The alarmist, inaccurate, swine flu-like prediction for 12 inches of snow caused me to descend into Hades again to buy Ty a pair of snow boots. Yesterday. After concert rehearsal. When I didn't have like 679 OTHER things to do. which is why I've been M.I.A. this week Just one of those things being to deck my outside halls...

I know, I know. Why did I wait this long to outfit my kids in appropriate outerwear? Because that's what I do. Every year. I scramble to find snow boots the day before the first big storm is forecast.

Cause I'm an idiot.

But I HAD to find boots for Ty cause today is our oh so exciting family trip into NYC for dim sum yum and Christmas lights. All the cheesy, touristy, 5th Ave lights and windows that the kids have never seen. And we plan to stop at a very special place so the kids can see this.

And since the forecast was for 12-18 in the city, I thought fuck the nor'easter. It screwed the concert plans and made Ty's sweet face all blotchy as he was trying to hold back tears. We are NOT cancelling dim sum and Rockefeller Center.

do you hear me universe and Sam Champion???

So we found boots. On the Saturday before Christmas 6 hours before the fucking nor'easter is forecast to hit. In the right size. On sale. And NOT at Walmart.

the Universe is Abundant

Then I dragged my poor husband outside to help me hang holiday lights.

Why did I wait so long?

I TOLD YOU. I'M AN IDIOT

sorry for yelling

Since we have NEVER decorated the outside of our house, we had no idea how to do it. None. And it was 18 degrees. Without the wind. First we tried the porch. How do we attach the damn lights?? Then we tried the Japanese maple in the front yard. But we don't have a ladder high enough to reach the top branches so it just looked stupid. Then it was dark. Which wasn't the worst thing cause then I could see HOW REALLY STUPID THE STUPID LIGHTS LOOKED.

In an attempt to keep things light and laugh instead of cry, I thought damn, I should have been taking pictures of all my pathetic attempts to keep up with the fucking light hanging Joneses.

But alas, no picts. CAUSE THE SNOW WAS COMING! And I figured we'd be either digging out today sunday, or down in Chinatown feasting. And tomorrow monday I'd be solo and probably in knee deep slush. At least for once I kept all the stupid christmas light receipts cause somewhere deep inside I knew it would probably never happen. I bought A LOT of lights

Well. One inch.

I guess I'm glad we didn't get covered. Cause maybe I can try again tomorrow to hang lights. Maybe I should let the light plans Plan C by the way go. Like I should let the cancelled concert go. But the pit bull in me is chompin' down hard and locked on. my jaw hurts

So. We're off to NYC. Apparently Central Park got 10 inches. Which may work out for the best. Maybe Chinatown and 5th Ave won't be INSANELY CROWDED on the Sunday before Christmas.

the Universe is Abundant

Friday Fragments 14 days and counting

Friday Fragments

hosted by Mrs. 4444

at Half Past Kissin' Time

go visit and leave a little

holiday cheer

Turns out Jack wanted to get me a radar tracker for Christmas. We used to call them fuzz busters. Apparently he brought this up with Bruce, who informed Jack that he was pretty sure radar trackers are illegal in our state. Jack says we gotta do something so she stops getting speeding tickets.

Some strange Christmas Faerie infected me and now we're hosting Christmas. Which if you know me is quite something. Luckily, I have a few days off before The Big Day, so maybe I'll get the house clean. Entertaining is always a good excuse/opportunity to get into all the nooks n crannies that hold the melted butter masquerading as dust bunnies and grime. Spent Wednesday's snow day scrubbing molding and trim.

Good times.

And speaking of Christmas decor, did you ladies really think I was SERIOUS about Barbra and her Jingle Bells?

I know my house is crazy looking, but if I was motivated enough to deck my outside halls, it might be more along the line of sitar music and Moroccan hanging lanterns. Bruce says our house looks like the inside of Jeannie's bottle. I always loved the idea of living in that bottle. And he and I both agree Jeannie was HOT.

If I get it together enough to decorate outside, I'll post

picts...

So Jack's school had a food drive for our local pantry. The class collecting the most cans received a 25$ prize and a whole bunch of school recognition. Jack's class won, and they were totally stoked. They decided to have a pizza party with the prize money. One of the mom's offered to pay for the pizza if the kids donated the 25$ to the pantry. Which of course they did. When their teacher called one of the six pizzerias in our little town, and told the story of her awesome can collecting students, pizza man oh so generously offered to give them a break on the tax. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Those kids dragged 305 cans and boxes of food in, were totally motivated, and dumb pizza guy is offering to drop the 6.75% sales tax??? jerk So the students, being the smart and savvy kids they are, yelled BOYCOTT!!!! So that's what we're doing. And the next pizzeria they called knocked 60% off their pizza party bill. There you go.

My Week in Review

Monday

Mia spills an entire bowl of cheerios between the leather couch cushions. More rotten milk in my creases.

Tuesday

45 minutes on line at the Walmart pharmacy for my thyroid medication.

Wednesday

snow day

shoot me

But the kids did all the shoveling. Before I was even out of bed. Awesome kids.

Thursday

Ty's home sick, another day blown.

Ty's learning about explorers.

Today he asked me if people thought the world was flat when I was born.

Ty, honey, Christopher Columbus sailed in 1492. That was like almost 500 years before I was born.

Oh. quizzical blank stare. My favorite explorer is Giovanni daVerranzano. He was eaten by cannibals on the island of Guadalupe. He was Italian. And Samuel deChamplain. Where does it sound like he's from? I don't remember. And they don't know when Hendrik Hudson was born but he left the Netherlands and sailed for England. He died in 1611. Was that when you were... ...wait... 16?...19?... 16?...

1963 Ty. I was born in 1963. I wasn't alive when those explorers sailed.

He's also been known to ask me if there was electricity, did people still live in caves, and were there cars or just horses when I was born. Seriously.

Happy Friday!

A whole new world

There's a whole world out there to which I was never privy until today. Operative word being privy. Or privvy. The Christmas Tree Shoppe. Being that I decided to host and decorate this year it means I have to host and decorate. Which means shopping. Buying shit. Which I HATE. For some yet to be discovered reason my psyche morphs every purchase I even consider making into a the existence of the planet hangs in the balance decision.

Where was it manufactured. Child labor. Sweatshops. Decapitated mountain tops. Fossil fuel. Run-off. Plastic. Footprint. Big. Fucking. Footprint.

I know. A little obsessive.

Ty was up pooping all night so he stayed home with me today. Apparently he knows all about The Christmas Tree Shoppe. They don't just have Christmas stuff, Mom. They have things like Halloween costumes. And deodorant.

deodorant????

Thru the automatic doors and I'm in a gigantic dollar store. A huge store full of crappy crap. How is it possible that I can feel so guilty about buying individually wrapped cheese sticks and cereal bars when there are huge warehouses like this filled to the brim with crap. Junk. Crappy ugly junk. Made in China junk. Floor to ceiling displays of junk.

So much stuff.

Even Ty was like Mom, why would anyone need so many cough drops? Or oven mitts?

And long lines of really miserable looking people. How could one be in that kind of place and NOT look miserable? I'm sure I looked just as miserable as all the other folks on line with their HO HO HO battery operated Santas. I know Ty did.

They didn't even have good holiday lights. Which is what we came for. Being that this is the first year I'm decorating the outside of my house, I need lights. So I can create a fucking winter wonderland. No good lights. No good wreathes. No good holiday cheer. Just a lot of deodorant. And cough drops.

whatever

When we left The Christmas Tree Shoppe, Ty just looked at me. Mom, that was terrible. That was awful. I hate shopping.

I still need lights. And presents. Cause between the snow day and the poop day, my shopping days were a bust.

OK. Deep breath. There are still 14 days left.

Thousand Words Thursday

First Snow Day of the Year

seems like there were a lot of them

in Blogland this week

I know you folks out west

are like

Bah!

looks like 3 inches

it was

we're weenies

here in the Hudson Valley

they could barely scrape together enough snow

to build their first snowman

of the season

doesn't bode well

for the rest of the winter

ugg

I hate snow

get it??

ugg??

huh? huh?

get it??

I'm an idiot

Thousand Words Thursday

courtesy of

the Mom Jen

at

Cheaper Than Therapy

is this a safe place to talk about our mothers?

I'm a bad daughter. Whatever. I'm not sure if I harbor resentments, or I'm just done. But I kind of am. Done, I mean. And I hope I don't live to regret it.

So my mom's in the hospital. Pleural effusion. Gunk in her lung that needed to be drained by a chest tube. And her kidneys are working at 40% and her heart isn't pumping the way they would like it to.

uggh

And I don't have much compassion or patience for it. It sounds terrible, I'm sure. Especially to those who have a fair to middlin or even good relationship with their mothers. But I'm not that girl.

My relationship was with my dad. My mom, not so much.

You reap what you sow.

So this evening I was visiting Ms. Moon, who's having a bad day. Feeling old and down. And it made me sad. Like I wanted to give her a hug and lift her spirits. Cause I know how it feels to look at yourself in the mirror and see that time is marching on. To look at your hands and see wrinkles. To look at your elbows and see wrinkles. To look at pictures from only a few years back and see cheeks plump with natural collagen.

Oh well.

So as I was having a puffy heart moment with Ms. Moon, my phone rings.

Caller ID, how do I love thee, let me count the ways...

oh yes I did

I ignored the call from my mother who is in the hospital with a hole in her chest wall from which 99cc of mucus was drained.

yes I did

straight to voice mail

And then I just felt aggravated. Aggravated and resentful and guilty. Dammit, I was visiting Ms. Moon, who's having a bad day. I didn't want to hear about lungs and kidneys and hearts. Especially from my mother.

Sister Adrienne said I get 10 demerits for not visiting our mom in the hospital today
I said I better buy me some indulgences so I don't burn in hell.

bad daughter.

but you know what?... bad mother

seriously
you reap what you sow

When my mother's mother died 8 years ago, my mom didn't go see her. She had the opportunity and the means. My grandmother was hospitalized and they knew she only had a few days left. My mom said if she was going to fly to the west coast, she'd do so for the funeral. or memorial service. or whatever. She didn't go. she never went. I'm not sure she even spoke to her mother on the phone before she died. I remember her making some vague excuses filled with obvious discomfort. She's probably disoriented... she won't remember anyway... I wouldn't know what to say

Sister Halona said just tell her you'll see her on the flip side

I loved and will always remember that

She didn't go

Lame-o
you reap what you sow

So this evening I'm reading about Ms Moon feeling like she's getting old... time marches on... golden years... and I relate completely. And then my mom calls my cell phone and just seeing Grums on the caller ID totally kills my Ms. Moon buzz.

harumpf

I'm not sure why I'm so loathe to visit my mother or even call. I just am. Maybe because every minute of my life that we've been alone together I feel like I'm with a stranger. Someone I don't know. Someone I'm not comfortable with. Seriously. A stranger.

And it seems pretty clear that Ms. Moon and her girls, Miss Maybelle and Honeyluna and Lily, feel heart close and yummy together. Not like strangers. And I love knowing that this kind of mother-daughter relationship exists. And is possible.

you reap what you sow

And as fucked up as this may sound... Ms. Moon's the closest thing to a mama-feeling I've every experienced. She says nice things to me like good job and calls me sweet and says she worries about me and then says I'm glad you're OK. And I feel like I could put my head on her shoulder and just rest there for a minute and she'd pat my hand. Not a stranger.

There. I said it. And now my nose is stinging and my eyes are leaking.

you reap what you sow

Sister Melanie said I think you and I are more like Mommy than we'd care to admit

Aargh. I so don't like hearing that

I said to Bruce jeez, I just hope in 40 years Mia wants to be right by my side

You reap what you sow

Holiday Junk Mail

Do you ever wonder how you get on

certain mailing lists?

Especially at this time of year.

Junk

Now, no offense to hunters and shooters

unless you're shooting people

but we're not the shooting types

which is probably a good thing

And although there's a part of me

that would

love love love

a freezer full of venison or wild boar

the epitome of local and organic

procured by my husband

I don't think Bruce will

soon be out hunting

with Mr. Moon

or

Michael Pollan

Bruce balked at the idea

of slaughtering our chickens

but even if he

bit the bullet

so to speak

and hunted for our dinner

he certainly

would never

never

ever

become a member of

the NRA

So how did this land in our mailbox?

FINAL NOTICE

last chance to become

a member

I'm sure our babysitter

did a double take

at the refrigerator door

but

Bruce could really use that

promotional NRA duffel bag

'tho I think he might get

some funny looks

from other commuters

on the Manhattan bound train

and

that orange refrigerator magnet?

swag from a drug rep

pushing ADHD meds

which, I guess is important

if you're a gun toting member of the NRA

and inattentive

or

hyperactive

let that be a lesson to you,

Dick Cheney

Merry Christmas

In the holiday spirit...

Cleaned up the backyard.

I'm in a surprisingly unGrinchy mood.

Do you think I can pull this off???

And does anyone know how I can rig the audio?

HO HO HO

MERRY CHRISTMAS

do you think the neighbors will mind?