another day in paradise

its an extraordinarily beautiful day here in the hudson valley. 80 and dry and sunny. it feels more like may or september rather than a new york summer in the middle of july. 
i dont know if thats good or bad but i will say it again. 
its a beautiful day

im scattered though. id love to take advantage of the weather and just work out in my yard. 
i look at it and see Wild Beauty. 
the boys say mom it just looks like its not taken care of. 
mia says mom no one would believe that you spend like... ALL of your time there

The Wolf Man reluctantly agrees that the garden appears to be uncared for
And then he tells me he loves me

i remember reading Michael Pollan's Second Nature, where he describes how he unsuccessfully waged war against a woodchuck inhabiting his connecticut farmland. he did not win. I dont plant vegetables because i have a woodchuck and that would just be aggravating. and im a little like the crazy chick in The Secret Life of Bees who coaxes the ants out of the house with a trail of sugar water rather than kill them. it takes me at least 3 years to determines what's a weed and whats not. god forbid i should pull a weed that might grow into a pretty plant. Last week i bought 7 very close to dead perennials at home depot for next to nothing and i get to coax them back to life. 

i love that

i have a friend from whom ive learned so much about gardening. but she will pull up and throw out any plant that shows a lack of fortitude perfection or beauty. last year she gave me the potted gardenia from her porch. The poor thing appeared to be past her prime though she had blossomed beautifully for weeks and weeks. This friend has absolutely no patience, nor the interest, to nurture any plant that is not eye candy. So she gave it to me. It was pretty sad when I got it last fall, and even more morose as the winter continued. 

I left it in the Big Round Window because the idea of chucking it just hurt. 

tho believe me i would chuck the dogs in a heartbeat if it werent for the kids. 
as a matter of fact i might chuck the kids too

anywhoo

spring hit and i noticed some new growth. 

this is the lovely geranium today

my friend said "i knew you could bring her back to life"

the only thing ill deliberately kill is a mosquito. i hate those fuckers. 
and the japanese beetles that skeletonize my grapes and roses. 

i'll also swat anything that makes too much noise and disturbs my sleep. including humans

but today, in my scattered-ness, i found myself walking back and forth in the garden, in and out of the house, trying to be productive and not at all succeeding. 
and for the umpteenth time this garden season this is what i see

its the gutter that runs along the roof of the sunroom thats below my bedroom window

and because the only thing i spend time taking care of is my garden which, by report, looks like it's not being taken care of at all, i decide today is the day to address the weeds growing the entire length of the gutter

yes. its time to climb out onto that roof and yank those weeds.

this task, at this moment, is more appealing than vacuuming dog hair or folding clothes or thinking about the orthodontist or what im gonna make for dinner. 

a dinner that the kids inevitably wont eat


earlier this spring i thought about making this rooftop into my own private patio. im sure i thought about it last year too. there is a beautiful view of the mountain and the only access is through my bedroom window. 

somehow in this big house i feel like i have no space of my own. 

First World Problems my boys would say

regardless, ive imagined a beautiful embroidered sun umbrella and a super comfy lounge chair and outdoor rug and potted palms and elephant ears. i see myself sitting out there and reading or writing or lounging or sleeping. i was never the girl who snuck out of the house at night but the idea of this rooftop escape feels a little... escape-ish

whatever

so i climb out my window which is about a foot too far to the left to comfortably step onto the roof. my legs get wobbly and i cant help but think it would be so easy to fall and break my neck or my hip or something. 

i make it out there in one piece and its just lovely.
im up high and can see clouds and sky and oak and black walnut trees and mount beacon. 

im not sure why my face is in a bubble 

but that's because after a year

i still cant work my phone

im out there and i almost cant see neighbors which is kinda how i like it

i think about how lovely it would be to sit out there during the day and pretend im in marakesh. or when it gets cooler at night to be out there snuggled in a cozy sweater watching the stars

so...back to todays reality, which is pulling the weeds that are growing in the gutter. 
its the first step to claiming my private rooftop paradise

i crawl up to the edge and this is what i see

seriously?!?! volunteer tomatoes?!?! 
the whole gutter is growing mini tomatoes
wtf???
ok. granted theyre a little stunted and mildewy but still...
im not even sure that ive ever planted tomatoes on this property. 
because of the damn woodchuck

so of course the miniature volunteer tomatoes are still growing in the gutter because...really...how could i pull them?

They can share my rooftop paradise this month and next month they will be pickles. because thats how i roll