"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn

"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn
it's a jungle out there

Friday, July 31, 2009

Fragments & Freewrites

***OK. So today we had our first swim day. Astounding, inasmuch as it's the end of July. But between Maine, work, and the horrendous weather, well...
We had a great time. Lots of sun, water, and sand.
In fact, Mia had a whole mess 'o fun creating a Mia sand creation.
I looked...
what the???...
Mia, honey, what is that?
Sand castles... and a pool. like, it's so obvious mommy
Right. How could I see anything other than sand castles and a pool??

is it me, or do you see big nippled boobies too?
or, I dunno, maybe an obscene representation of male genitalia?
and that hole at the bottom?
what is that?
my mind is in the gutter

***So, as we're getting into the car to catch a movie, I notice that Mia's hands are covered in mud. Up to her elbows. I also notice that Ty's entire back and butt are wet and muddy.
Ty, you're covered in mud... where were you playing?
In the mud good answer
After the movie, they keep asking me to come see their sculpture. I so don't put 2 and 2 together. I notice Mia's tossing a ball of mud back and forth in her hands.
mommy, come... it's outside, mommy.
Mia walks me down the block. I figure we'll be rounding the corner, and their sculpture is in the park. She stops in front of the sewer. I see little piles of mud edging the sewer grate. Are you kidding me? I can just imagine the two of them squatting in the street playing in sewer mud, for all the neighbors to see. Yuck

***So all evening Mia has been complaining that her butt itches. She eats like 3 lbs of fruit a day and poops like a man. I keep going back into the bathroom to wipe her itchy butt and she keeps complaining that it still itches. Finally, she's in tears. So I take a REALLY good look. Pinworms. Before I can check myself, the word POPS out of my mouth. Poor Mia gets a horrified look on her face and bursts into tears. I remove the offending worm and she immediately feels better. If you've never had the pleasure of viewing pinworms in your kid's butt, they're tiny white threadlike wormy things that itch like crazy. Yuck.
Lucky for me us, Ty had pinworms 3 years ago. also in 1st grade... hmmm... I sure did stock up on those anti-pinworm chewables. Back then, I made everyone in the family chew away just in case. Well, no way was I gonna get caught with my pants down again so to speak. She's all better now.

***So Jack comes home from Tae Kwon Do, and plops down on the couch with Ty & Mia who are watching PBS Kids. Jack says I miss being 4. Just hanging out and chillin with Clifford.
A nostalgic moment for my almost 12 year old.

***If it sounds like my kids are a bunch of dirty fingernailed, dirty minded, unsanitary, unchaperoned, dirt, dirty, dirty kids... well... they are.

Friday Fragments courtesy of
Friday Freewrites courtesy of
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  1. Maine weather sucks. Although it IS sunny out right now. But if I blink, I'm sure it will change.

    And yes, I TOTALLY see boobies!!


  2. Yuck. I had to get sand out of every inch of my children's bodies yesterday. Hours and hours in the sand and the sandy water of Lake Erie causes pounds and pounds of sand in hair, under arms, in butt cracks...all over.

  3. I totally DIDN'T see boobs or genitalia until you pointed them out; and now the image is burned in my mind. Thanks for that.

    I love a good dirty kid; ringworm, pinworm, all manageable. Now were it TAPEworm, I might freak out a little, but still. And sewer mud washed off, too. I wish you were my neighbor.

  4. OMGosh that pic LMAO...okay i guess i have a dirty mind b/c i soooo saw it!!!!

    really enjoyed your FF

  5. I'm happy to say I've so far avoided that enjoyable pinworm experience. Yikes. I love Jack's comment about missing four; sooo sweet. And sewer play? Priceless.

  6. It looks like titty f!@#ing. Wow.

    I love dirty kids. A few years ago Dawn snapped a picture of FAith totally naked squatting in the mud with her hands outstretched and her lip pouted. We wrote across the bottom of it, "For just 12 cents a day . . ."

  7. HILARIOUS...I even called my firend over to see the pic of the "sand castles"
    We had a roaring laugh! Thanks.

  8. I had already totally fallen in love with your writing and your hilarious perspective on life - but not I'm in love with your kids too.
    I just stared at her sand castles and pool laughing and laughing - I couldn't read further for two full minutes.

    And the sewer, pinworms, Clifford - it's like we live in parallel worlds.

    I never want it to end but it'll be nice to get some sleep someday.

  9. I have never even heard of Pinworms. Yuck! I always fear getting worms of some sort from fruit, pork, and sushi. I don't know why. I eat the heck out of sushi regardless, but I will hardly touch pork.

  10. LOL! i sure do miss you guys.


so... wadaya think?

Your fairy is called Columbine Icedancer
She is a bone chilling bringer of justice for the vulnerable.
She lives in mushroom fields and quiet meadows.
She is only seen when the bees swarm and the crickets chirrup.
She wears lilac and purple like columbine flowers. She has icy blue butterfly wings.