It's Sunday, and I've sinned...I crossed over to the dark side, crossed the threshold to Hades, 'cause Jack needed new sneakers.
Walmart
thru the doors, and my teeth are clenched...the enormity of the place makes my ears ring...the lights furrow my brow...and the piles of stuff
I remind myself there are valid reasons to descend into hell on a Sunday...
batteries, band-aids, benadryl,
and kid's feet do grow
(all right, just eat it)
Sweatshop remorse alone is not sufficient penance for my egregious transgression.
I consider sitting on a stormy windswept moor to embroider a scarlet W on my favorite hoodie, but decide instead to pay alms to our farmers' market.
(bless me farmer, for I have sinned)
I can breathe easy here
the breeze off the Hudson washes away all trace of the ick I seem to feel on my skin
the healthy looking vendors smile and offer their artisan wares
breads, cheeses, jams, spring greens
I gladly hand over nine dollars for 12 ounces of mesclun and arugula
Mia & I snack on milk and honey
local bleu cheese with honey supplied by an amish farmer
(all unpasteurized, of course)
and what do we eat the manna from above on??
...the road to hell...
I am so glad you can see what is inside my kitchen cabinets
ReplyDeleteyou just might have me arrested
as soon as i mend true's pants, do his laundry, wash the dishes, turn over the vacation rentals, perform a vintage-style strip tease, and then make him breakfast in bed, i'll HAPPILY embroider the scarlet W on your (2nd-hand?) hoodie for you.
ReplyDeleteoh yeah...he wants to know if you'll pass that box of crackers...
p.s. my word verification was 'clogroo' which is EXACTLY what will happen to his innards when he partakes in them ritz
ReplyDeleteLOL! Too funny :)
ReplyDeleteI would rather rip out my teeth by the roots and go to Wal-Mart, I hate that effing store that bad. But sometimes.....yeah.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Kori. I always feel so guilty about going to Walmart and hardly ever do and hate myself the entire time I'm there. The only thing I really like about it is the vast variety of people who shop there. I like seeing all the kids.
ReplyDeleteHave you read Nickled and Dimed? Probably better not read it if you haven't. We carry enough guilt.
But, I have to add- everything tastes better on a Ritz. Have you ever tried cream cheese and guava jelly on Ritz?
Well. It is heaven.