I'm so fucking tired.
I have made an effort to curb the potty mouth this week.
I promised myself no more gratuitous *f bombs*.
I made a No More Cursing pact with the kids.
fucking epic fail
Ty and Mia have spent the last 3 weeks at day camp. Which seems like it would be a good thing.
And it is a good thing. They love it. But I'm fucking exhausted. It's worse than school.
At least Sep-June I can write a monthly check and send them off to eat a lunch of government subsidized beefwheatandairy.
And I can shove them out the door and they'll be at school in 90 seconds.
Day camp? Not so much. I've had 15 days of rolling out of bed late, slapping together turkey n cheese sandwiches, a half hour drive to camp, and lots of cursing. Then a half hour drive back home. Which becomes an hour drive because for reasons I have yet to understand, July is
the perfect time to repave all the major roads between camp and home.
And then I have to pick them up. At rush hour. Mucho *f bombs*.
Mia busts me every time I let one loose.
Mia is at art camp. They do awesome projects and the counselors are great.
But this camp has a reputation. It's fancy.
Which means it attracts the kind of people I just want to punch in the head.
When Volvos and BMWs and Escalades are being all... entitled....
I wanna get my ghetto on and bring them down to my beat up minivan level.
But I can't. Because camp is around the corner from work.
And with my luck, I'll go ghetto on some lady at 4:30, and then see her kid for an earache a few hours later.
So I have to behave. And not curse in the parking lot.
It's not easy some days.
And speaking of my beat up minivan...
As I've said before, I don't take care of my house or my car. I run both into the ground. Which is fine for a car, but not so good for a house.
Our house is relatively clean. Not eat off the floor clean, but pretty clean considering who lives here.
It's relatively clean mostly due to the most awesome cleaning lady and most awesome babysitter.
I just sweep a lot.
Our minivan is a pigsty. Mainly cause I won't pay anyone to clean it.
So today's game is Guess Which Item Is NOT In Michelle's Minivan.
The winner gets a big wet smooch.
1. A pink guitar
2. A plate of half eaten waffles.
3. A leopard print raincoat
4. A half drunk Dunkin Donuts iced mocha latte
5. A pair of funeral shoes
6. An empty pure maple syrup bottle shaped like a cello
7. A wad of gauze used after a tooth extraction
8. A dozen empty water/iced tea/soda bottles
9. A pair of snow boots.
10. A purple yoga mat
Speaking of yoga, I haven't done it in a month. I started feeling really achey two weeks ago.
Now I'm just fucking insane in my head. A little anxiety. A little depression.
Nothing too serious, but just enough to be a goddam pain in my fucking ass.
I go through my day feeling like I've had too much coffee.
And, like I said yesterday, I'm having weird dreams.
This morning it occurred to me that at the same time last year, and the year before, I was mentally circling the drain as well.
Two Julys ago, it was a deep dark funk that swooped in and took me down quick.
But it was short lived and relieved by knitting.
Last July it started as anxiety and progressed to I wanna stay in bed depression that went on for a month and resolve after a few weeks of my little blue pill.
I thank my lucky stars for that damn pill, cuz otherwise I might be way in the depths right now.
And since I spend almost every waking minute analyzing the shit in my head, I thought
why now? Why this time of year? It's summer. It's hot. There's lots of light. WTF?
I still ignore my kids. I still ignore my house and my car. I still take my pill. I still go to work.
The only thing different is no yoga.
Could my July instability and superfunk be due to LACK OF YOGA?
I mean jeez. I know what they say. But seriously?
Does yoga or lack thereof affect my mental health this significantly?
Does 2 classes a week keep my head screwed on straight?
You all are probably, like, duh Michelle. Ummm... hello?!?
Well. I'm a little slow sometimes.
It's back to yoga starting Saturday. I'll let you know next week if I'm better.
And let me know which item you think is NOT in my van.