"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn

"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn
it's a jungle out there

Thursday, April 21, 2011


It's two thirty in the morning and I'm walking in circles.


Seems like I've been walking in circles for weeks

Circles in the pink and purple house where's the duct tape where's the sharpie why am i up here why am i down here there's so much to do

And now circles in the new house where's that extension cord which box has the napkins mom where's the iPad charger where are my danskos why am i up here why am i down here there's so much to do

Right now it's where's the incense? ssshh... the kids are sleeping

lesson #1
to avoid the circles label the damn boxes
caveat to lesson #1
if you're not gonna label the boxes unpack them and put the damn stuff away

I know the incense is here somewhere cause I've been burning it to mask the smell of cat pee.
All the neighborhood cats apparently have found a way in to the basement and made it their Gaza Strip.
They pee on top of pee to claim the area as their own.
I turn on the heat forced hot air and the whole house smells like cat pee
Well the Dusty dog is here now and the cats are staying away.

the Universe Is Abundant

I drive in circles now that our home is on the other side of town and most of the time when I'm in the car 147 things are going on in my head and I'm on autopilot and realize I'm heading to the pink and purple house instead of the round window house
i'll post picts tomorrow ms. moon i promise

lesson #2
to avoid circles pay attention while behind the wheel

I drove Jack all the way to the city on Tuesday for an appointment scheduled six weeks ago with a specialist who is not covered by my shitty health insurance that I pay a thousand dollars a month for but doesn't cover ANYTHING my kids truly need the best therapist around sorry out of network no reimbursement the only surgeon in the fucking state who will fix jack's ribcage with a brace rather than surgery sorry if it's not compromising his heart or his lungs it's considered cosmetic. fuck you health insurance he's a thirteen year old boy whose ribcage is growing funny and it's gonna keep growing funny don't fucking tell me its cosmetic


oh. right. circles. sorry.

So we got to the Children's Hospital my how things have changed since my school days here and the nice secretary tells me she called twice to let me know the appointment had been cancelled because of Passover didn't you get the message?

Anyone who knows me in real life knows I do not answer my phone.
I don't like talking on the phone i text and I certainly don't answer the home phone.
There are routinely a dozen messages blinking away that the babysitter or the kids check and I just ignore.
Apparently two of those messages would have informed me I did not need to pull Jack out of school and drive in a 140 mile circle to the city on Tuesday. But since I do not check my messages I drove that big circle.
I chalk it up to 3 hours of alone time with Jack not a bad thing at all.
I still haven't checked the 9 messages blinking on the home phone since it was connected on Monday wonder what other important messages are there...

lesson #3
to avoid the circles check the messages

So up I am at 2:30 a.m. 'cause I was too hot. I read the electric blanket control upside down and thought it was on L for low but it was really 7 which is damn hot and the dog had me pinned in my new bed which is making me all achey so I'm going to drive in a circle tomorrow and upgrade to the stoopid expensive mattress I wanted in the first place

But for the first time in YEARS I have my bed to myself.
Ty and Mia are feeling comfy and safe in their new beds in their new bedrooms in the new house and I am no longer a squashed sardine in a bed with two kids two cats and the dog.

the Universe Is Abundant

lesson #4
to avoid circles buy the thing that you REALLY want if you can afford it
caveat: especially if it's something important that you may have for the rest of your life.
like a bed or a car or a house

So I woke up hot and thirsty with my brain going in circles with all the stuff I need to get done and the smell of last night's tacos in the air yuck
I got up to light some incense and walked up down and around this big old house unable to find the incense but I did find the computer.

all is not lost

Like I said the Universe Is Abundant


  1. I, too, hate the phone. We got rid of our answering machine years ago for that very same reason. I NEVER checked the messages and felt guilty for missing important calls/messages. Now I'm guilt-free!

    Can't wait to see pics of the new house!!!

  2. I think this is a fascinating post. I sometimes find myself doing the same thing, I try to be more mindful but it's hard! Glad you all feel safe and cozy in the new house.

  3. the good news is the kerem shalom crossing was re-opened sunday, so you won't have to worry about the smell of dead flowers on top of the cat piss.

    the universe IS abundant.

  4. I remember when I moved into this house and I'd open a box and hold one little thing and wonder around (yes) in circles wondering, "Where does this go?" and it's crazy, this packing up and moving house and honey, circles are a perfect shape, perfect.
    I love you so.

  5. I love moving house. I wish I could do it more often. It's such a chance to clear out all the STUFF that's encroaching from the corners. I open one box each night and try to give away/ flat out throw away most of what I find in it. Such freedom after! I'd say don't rush, you will get through it a box at a time, and since they're not labeled it can be like a sweet treasure hunt, like what will i find inside and who can i donate it to! Try not to stress about the unpacking hon. Your kids are cozy and safe. Enjoy.

  6. I am excited to see pictures, but I think I will miss the blue balls. :)

  7. Can't wait to see the photos of your new house. It sounds cozy.

  8. I was driving around in circles today, Michelle and said to myself "the universe is abundant" for some reason or another, and then I thought of you. And here you are.

    Happy new home. I can't wait to see a picture!

  9. great lessons and attitude. you always make me laugh. hang in there Michelle, you're doing amazing!

  10. My life is one big damn circle.

    I love you. Enjoy your new home. May it be filled with peace, joy, love, and happiness.


  11. I rarely answer the phone either... unless I knew it was you calling to tell me you were on your way over with a case of wine. Then I'd pick up.

  12. I want pictures, too, and I never check my messages either. So much that I cancelled my answering service and now at least people don't think I'm ignoring them any more. I don't get American insurance. It seems awfully care-less.


so... wadaya think?

Your fairy is called Columbine Icedancer
She is a bone chilling bringer of justice for the vulnerable.
She lives in mushroom fields and quiet meadows.
She is only seen when the bees swarm and the crickets chirrup.
She wears lilac and purple like columbine flowers. She has icy blue butterfly wings.