"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn
it's a jungle out there
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Defiant. Inattentive Hyperactive. Oppositional. Hyperactivethis bears repeating The professional in me automatically assessed and diagnosed most of the kids in the group.
The mom in me came up with a completely different assessment
Obnoxious. Rude. Ill mannered. Disrespectful.
dammit I wanna ring all their necks and give them all spankings
And my kid was first in line for that... ummm... consequence.
I HATE chaperoning class trips. Seriously. But I do it cause it's important to my kids. My mom NEVER chaperoned. And I took it personally. I remember the envy I felt seeing someone else's mom chaperoning a field trip. I remember feeling like there was a big neon sign over my head. A sign with an arrow
her mother doesn't love her
So I go on the class trips whenever I can. And my kids appreciate it. Their faces light up when they round the corner and see me standing there with my visitor badge stuck to my hoodie. Even their friends get excited. hi mia's mom hi ty's mom
I HATE this kind of art. It makes no sense to me and it made no sense to the kids. I mean it's cool that this museum is right in our town and the 2nd grade class just walked down the hill and tada Warhols and.... whatever...I don't know any of the other artists.
I do know that we looked at strings strung from floor to ceiling, holes dug in the ground, and white canvasses. Painted white.
did I say how much I hate this shit? I mean art?
Mia says mommy i don't get it. it's a pile of broken glass
tell me about it
The tour lady is talking to the 8 year olds about value and depth and subtleties of beige on beige.
are you fucking kidding me???
And the Dia staff, dressed in black, tracks our every movement with eagle eyes and transmits our activity via walkie talkie
watch the kid in the yellow t shirt-he gets too close to the work
they're approaching the stairs
they're exiting the building
honestly. like they're secret service or something
while we strolled through the room full of crushed soda cans, a friend who shall remain nameless but actually was once upon a time a Dia Secret Service Agent too happened to send me a text referring to the fact that she was up in stirrups having her tilted uterus examined
I replied I'd take a metal speculum over the Dia any day of the week
seriously. I would
The activity planned for the kids was pretty cool. I guess. But I didn't really get it.
As far as the kids were concerned, they liked it cause it gave them a chance to walk in circles and get dizzy.
Today's field trip was out in nature. We explored water habitats. It's a beautiful spot, also right in our town. We are very lucky to have such diversity in this goofy little city.
One kid pulls something out of the garbage can and can't understand why he can't keep it.
The teacher smiles at me and says poor things. they're so confused. one minute they're at the Dia looking at artwork made from found objects and then they don't understand why they can't keep the trash they find on the playground.
Let me remind you this is the school playground. Where rubber trees grow. In abundance.
Sorry. I digress
Well. The kids were just bad today. They must be bad cause they CAN'T all be diagnosable. right?
You'd think being out in nature and checking out bugs and waterfalls and beaver dams would keep their attention.
dammit if this kid falls in I'm gonna be pissed
Where were we?
Oh, right. The fresh air and space just made them all wacko. Crazed. Out of control.
They ignored the teacher. They ignored the habitat bug lady. They ignored the other chaperones.
They ignored me.
I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!
So I got mean. I didn't boil any beavers but I might now be thought of as the meanest mom in the class.
That's OK. Whatever works.
I've never been so glad to get on a school bus in my life.
"it occurred to me that the only real sin you can commit as a mother is to deny your children's right to be who they are and what they want to be and that the only real sin you can commit against yourself is to deny who you truly are and prevent yourself from being who that is"