"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn

"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn
it's a jungle out there

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Wednesday Rants

Its really hard to close credit card accounts.

It's not hard as in ohmygod I can't do this I need more credit cards way.

It's hard because the goddam fucking automated phone voice gives "close my account" as the very. last. option.

After 7 minutes of please enter this and please enter that
I am forced to suffer a gazillion questions from a real live person about why I want to close my account.
Are you aware of all the benefits this account has to offer?
Do you realize that once the account is closed, it cannot be reopened?

Why would I sit on the phone for 12 minutes to close an account and then want to reopen it?
I'd just like to close the account, please.

just a buzz in my ear as I repeatedly repeat
I'd just like to close my account please.

7 times

7 cards

This is my own damn fault. I open accounts usually around christmas time to get 15% off or interest free financing or some such nonsense.
I pay off the balance right away and forget the card exists.

I decided today it was time to loose the cards. They're just taking up space in my wallet.
It took me 45 minutes, 3 continents and 4 time zones to cancel everything. Sheesh


I'm on my eighth load of laundry.
Cause the damn dog has fleas.

I thought they were just mosquito bites.
The kids said Dusty has fleas
I said He does not
The kids said Amy the most awesome babysitter said she saw one
Though I trust Amy completely, I still said Dusty does not have fleas.
I checked him over the weekend. Twice. No fleas.
Eventhough I have a Don't Call Me At Work Unless There's Blood Or Fire Rule, Monday evening my phone rings.
The same rule stands when I'm blogging or on the phone.
This rule is frequently broken.
Ty says ummm... mom.... Dusty has fleas
Ty? Ty? Seriously, Ty? What am I supposed to do about that right this very minute?
Ummm... we just wanted to tell you.
Ty! I'm seeing patients. Dusty does not have fleas. And even if he did, there's nothing I can do about it right now. Is there?
Ummm... no mom.

So I get home at 10 Monday night, totally cross eyed. The kids are still up.
Jack walks by and says Dusty has fleas.
Goddammit you guys! Dusty does not have fleas.
I flop down and huff and get all dramatic and start examining the damn dog, who rolls over and wags his tail.
Dumbass dog.
Look you guys... no fle...
I see one lone black bugger crawling through the damn dog's fur
I start to itch
dammit dammit dammit
off to Google
...for every adult flea there are at least 10 eggs and 2 larvae...
Dusty had a date with the groomer today.
And I stripped all the beds all the slipcovers all the blankets and all the sleeping bags
and started washing.
The groomer did a great job.
She said yup I saw fleas. He's not infested, but he definitely has them.
Infested. eeew
Ty has fleas, too. Poor thing.


Do you know what happens when 112 year old pipes get overburdened with 8 loads of washer drainage and dog hair?
Another call to Mr. LongSnakeMan.
At this point, we agree. Snaking is for pussies.
He will return tomorrow and replace a good part of our old cast iron sewage pipes with PVC.
During Jack's birthday party.



Jack said look at it this way, mom. you got a lot accomplished today.
He said this before I got the car cleaned like, really cleaned and my tattoo finished.
And he didn't even know about this morning's quickie vag post.

He's so the glass is almost full kinda kid.
Tomorrow is his 13th birthday


  1. Weird -- our dog Valentine was infested with fleas until today when I had her washed and shaved. Now I'm wondering what to do in our house besides for all the washing of sheets, etc. I don't want to fog or spray because of Sophie, but how do you get rid of them, really?


  2. Please please please do not use those horrifyingly toxic fogger/flea bomb things. The cure is worse than the disease! Also avoid flea shampoos, they only kill adult fleas. The eggs are not on the dog, they're in your house and yard.

    Spring for 3 months of frontline plus. I know it's not cheap, but if you do the all three doses at monthly intervals you will have broken the lifecycle. Right now, there are still eggs in the carpets, upholstery, and even outside where he hangs around. Fleas prefer dogs to humans, so let the dog pick them up, and the frontline will kill them and you'll never know it's happening.

    I have 5 dogs and no fleas, and I frontline six months of the year, primarily for tick prevention (lyme disease is everywhere where I live).

  3. My sympathies. I had flea infestation earlier this year with my dog, and I had 7 damn cats to worry about also. I sprayed and washed and vacuumed my ass off. I also did frontline faithfully for months. What a fucking nightmare. I also cried and called my sister, then I felt a little better.

  4. I say kill the dog.

    The tattoo is finished? Wanna See!!!

  5. I tend to leave the credit cards open because it keeps the credit score higher (if you have $20,00 worth of credit and use $3,000 you have a better debt ratio than if you have $10,000 and use $3,000).
    Pu the dog on lockdown till the eggs die??

  6. The glass isn't half anything. You just need a smaller glass so your cup can runnith over.

    If you call and get your credit report (or go to the website for your free credit report...experian, transunion, equafax)addresses are printed for each credit card and you can just type up a letter and request that account number be closed. Then a month or so later check your report again to be sure they are closed. (We check ours 3 times a year. First time we use experian, 3 months later we use transunion and 3 months later we use equafax. Each reporting agency will let you check your report once per calendar year)

    Good Luck!

  7. I just adore this post. It all ties together in such a satisfying way.

  8. I have missed reading you of all people! :)

  9. I have stories about fleas that would make you cry. But really, all I want to say is Happy Birth Day.
    Really. Thirteen? Oh my.
    Bless you all and have a happy one.

  10. Fleas are of the devil. We've had fleas in the house a couple of times, and they always make me cry.

  11. Ack. Fleas.
    Have a lovely birthday party. Thirteen is a big deal.

  12. I love the way you tell us stories, just right.
    hope the fleas go away fast.
    I need a Jack around for pep talks.
    I agree with him, A LOT done!


so... wadaya think?

Your fairy is called Columbine Icedancer
She is a bone chilling bringer of justice for the vulnerable.
She lives in mushroom fields and quiet meadows.
She is only seen when the bees swarm and the crickets chirrup.
She wears lilac and purple like columbine flowers. She has icy blue butterfly wings.