Yesterday I woke up smiling. My heart was light. My breath was easy.
The plumber was coming at 9
cha-ching yay new sewer pipes
The cleaning ladies at 1
cha-ching cleaning ladies ooooh poor me
Then a bunch of 13 year olds at 3
And we didn't have a cake yet.
Still, I felt just fine.
Not at all like August 19, 2009.
Last year, at exactly the same time, in exactly the same supermarket, buying exactly the same birthday party stuff, I felt like I was at the bottom of a dark well with no way out.
It was then and there, in the Price Chopper aisle, that I decided it's time for a pill.
The thought that catapulted me over the line was
it's my oldest son's birthday. i should be able to enjoy it.
That was it.
One of the perks of my profession is my prescription pad.
I came home, went online, and decided on good old Prozac.
There you go
What a difference a little blue pill makes
Happy reBirth Day
That was exactly what made me get on antidepressants- knowing that I have the most amazing life and yet, not being able to enjoy/participate/give thanks for it due to the the fucked-up chemicals in my head.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are a year down the road and feeling the way you do.
I'm so happy so happy you're just fine.
ReplyDelete(Really? You get to write your own prescriptions? I never knew that was allowed! I studied the wrong stuff.)
I am happy you are happy. And I UNDERSTAND the difference a pill can make.
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend!
Love,
SB
Ditto what the others have said. And bravo for your courage. And happy birthday to you and yours --
ReplyDeleteThere are days that I try to will a little blue pill in my hand. I'm pretty sure that guy from "The Secret" is a total liar. Because as hard as I think there is a little blue pill in my hand, it never appears. Ever.
ReplyDeleteNo question. Life is too short to let the chemicals fuck it up for you.
ReplyDeletehappy re-birthday. youre an inspiration :)
ReplyDeleteIsn't it a blessing that we have finally discovered that simple chemistry is to blame for so much? I desperately wish that my mother-in-law could be convinced to go with the Prozac, it would change her life! Good for you for healing thyself!
ReplyDeleteBetter living through pharmaceuticals. Thank goodness.
ReplyDeletexo
Yes. I'd like two Rx pads please. Once I get those, I'll take care of everything else. Ohhhhhh, the drawbacks of being a LowestPaidNurse!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad the medication has helped! I once took a pill. I think I'm on the path to another pill. I just haven't gotten there again....yet.
I remember where you were last year and this is much better. I recently switched to Prozac and it's really helping even more so than the Zoloft did. I no longer feel like the world is out to get me.
ReplyDeletei'm so happy for you.
ReplyDeletewait, that sounded lame, but really, i meant it. i know what it feels like to be in those depths.
ReplyDelete