"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn

"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn
it's a jungle out there

Friday, October 15, 2010


I remember my mom taking us to see Godspell when I was 10.
This was way before her Church Lady Era.
She probably heard or read some NYTimes review about how awesome the movie was.

1973. The hippie years.

I loved that movie. I remember being broken hearted at the end.
We went to Church. I knew the stories. Somehow my 10 year old self found the movie sexy.
Jesus was sexy. The disciples were sexy. I wanted to be one of them.
And the music? OMG.
My prepubescent self was impressionable and on the cusp of having the ability to be swept away.
That's what Godspell did. It swept me away. It broke my prepubescent heart.

We got the album. I was 10. Sister Halona was 4. The other 3 were in between. We listened to the album all the time. We would sing and prance through the living room and carry Sister Halona through the house just like they carried Jesus after they took him down from the chain-linked fence.

37 years later, I'm sure we still know all the words. I know I do.

A local theater group is performing Godspell next month. I noticed the marquis this morning on my way to work. I should take the kids. They've seen the movie. They love the music. It made an impression on them even though it's dated and they have no idea who Jesus is because I'm now a heathen and they don't go to church.

They don't know the stories.

They're not even baptized.

It was such a big part of our lives growing up. Church. Godspell.

I plugged in my iPod on the way home tonight and listened to the Godspell soundtrack.

Yes. I have Godspell on my iPod. I told you I'm a loser.

One of my favorite songs is Bless the Lord.
I think the last time I listened to it our Daddy was unconscious in the hospital and we were holding a vigil waiting for him to die.

9 days. He held on 9 days after having a massive stroke. No food. No fluids.
He never regained consciousness.

I remember listening to Godspell on the way back from one of many hospital visits during those 9 days. It was an insanely insane time in my life.
My Daddy was dying. My husband was on the verge.
I was trying to keep my kids safe and in one piece.
I thought I might loose my house. I thought I might loose my mind.

he will not always chide
he will with patience wait
his wrath is ever slow to rise
and ready to abate

he pardons all thy sins
prolongs thy feeble breath
he heal-eth thine infirmities
and ransoms thee from death

he clothes thee with his love
upholds thee with his truth
and like the eagle he renews
the vigor of thy youth

I remember singing the words and crying through the music. My Daddy was dying.

The Christian God makes no sense to me at all. I take what I like and leave the rest.
I substitute Love or some other non-gendered amorphous inclusive force for the He(s), and then I can accept the message.

Who the fuck knows. Not me, that's for sure.

But I do know there is something. And it's mighty strong. It makes miracles. It heals.
It kicks fukin butt.


  1. As you say, "The universe is abundant."

    I listened to Godspell avidly as well -- in 1973, when I was ten, too. I also know all the words to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat -- remember that? You've inspired me to find both soundtracks --

  2. It's always music that makes me question my own heathen ways.

    Love, Chi, The Force... something like that.

  3. My first memory of Godspell was my sister's high school performance of it. I too fell in LOVE with the music. (And now I want it on my iPod).

    And what you said about God and religion. Me too.

  4. Godspell is on my iPod. Bless the Lord probably my favorite. You're killing me with this post.
    I think it was the first album I memorized by heart. I first saw the show in the mid seventies. Maybe when you saw it. (Were you always in Duchess County? I grew up in Orange...Tulpen was only a little kid when we moved.)
    Anyway - Godspell is go-to music for me. I think I thought I was Christian when I was first in it in high school. Now, like you, I take what I like and leave the rest.
    Also dated 2 different guys who played Judas. Married one of them. Ack.
    Now off to find my iPod.
    Thanks for the trip down memory lane, Michelle.

  5. I think I was more a Jesus Christ, Superstar hippie. Or, actually, more of a Hair hippie. When it came to the musicals.
    But seriously- here I am at fifty-six years old, no more idea of what it all means or how it all works than a baby. Maybe a lot LESS than a baby.
    I deny the supernatural powers of any of it. But I understand that miracles occur.
    I love you, Michelle. I am glad you did not lose your mind or your house or your husband.
    I am sorry your daddy died.

  6. In high school, I was cast as a female Jesus in Godspell. Back then, I sang like a damn bird and I was a good girl with a wicked streak. It was scandalous and I was on fire! I think our drama coach thought Godspell was sexy too.

    Then I lost the opportunity to perform due to the No Pass- No Play rule. I was a lazy gifted student and never cared for school. It broke my heart. I left school that day and wept. I was still weeping when I rolled through the stop sign and onto the railroad tracks and heard the train whistle. Obviously, I stomped the gas and was saved. It turned me to jelly and gave me a new perspective on things. After I graduated and turned 18, I slept with that drama coach. He was a poor lover.

    I grew up in church. I don't believe in a bit of it now.

  7. I wish I had that certainty. It surprised me when my own daddy told me he was certain there was something making it all. And you. It makes me want to see it. Stupid Catholics broke the bad and the good in me that way.

  8. As Ms. Moon would say: I don't know shit about shit. I do love you though, and I think you should take the kids to the show.


so... wadaya think?

Your fairy is called Columbine Icedancer
She is a bone chilling bringer of justice for the vulnerable.
She lives in mushroom fields and quiet meadows.
She is only seen when the bees swarm and the crickets chirrup.
She wears lilac and purple like columbine flowers. She has icy blue butterfly wings.