I remember my mom taking us to see Godspell when I was 10.
This was way before her Church Lady Era.
She probably heard or read some NYTimes review about how awesome the movie was.
1973. The hippie years.
I loved that movie. I remember being broken hearted at the end.
We went to Church. I knew the stories. Somehow my 10 year old self found the movie sexy.
Jesus was sexy. The disciples were sexy. I wanted to be one of them.
And the music? OMG.
My prepubescent self was impressionable and on the cusp of having the ability to be swept away.
That's what Godspell did. It swept me away. It broke my prepubescent heart.
We got the album. I was 10. Sister Halona was 4. The other 3 were in between. We listened to the album all the time. We would sing and prance through the living room and carry Sister Halona through the house just like they carried Jesus after they took him down from the chain-linked fence.
37 years later, I'm sure we still know all the words. I know I do.
A local theater group is performing Godspell next month. I noticed the marquis this morning on my way to work. I should take the kids. They've seen the movie. They love the music. It made an impression on them even though it's dated and they have no idea who Jesus is because I'm now a heathen and they don't go to church.
They don't know the stories.
They're not even baptized.
It was such a big part of our lives growing up. Church. Godspell.
I plugged in my iPod on the way home tonight and listened to the Godspell soundtrack.
Yes. I have Godspell on my iPod. I told you I'm a loser.
One of my favorite songs is Bless the Lord.
I think the last time I listened to it our Daddy was unconscious in the hospital and we were holding a vigil waiting for him to die.
9 days. He held on 9 days after having a massive stroke. No food. No fluids.
He never regained consciousness.
I remember listening to Godspell on the way back from one of many hospital visits during those 9 days. It was an insanely insane time in my life.
My Daddy was dying. My husband was on the verge.
I was trying to keep my kids safe and in one piece.
I thought I might loose my house. I thought I might loose my mind.
he will not always chide
he will with patience wait
his wrath is ever slow to rise
and ready to abate
he pardons all thy sins
prolongs thy feeble breath
he heal-eth thine infirmities
and ransoms thee from death
he clothes thee with his love
upholds thee with his truth
and like the eagle he renews
the vigor of thy youth
I remember singing the words and crying through the music. My Daddy was dying.
The Christian God makes no sense to me at all. I take what I like and leave the rest.
I substitute Love or some other non-gendered amorphous inclusive force for the He(s), and then I can accept the message.
Who the fuck knows. Not me, that's for sure.
But I do know there is something. And it's mighty strong. It makes miracles. It heals.
It kicks fukin butt.