Rambly Bad Mood Monday

And the hormonal slump hit like a ton of bricks and fucked me up goddammit

I felt like I was on a goddam emotional rollercoaster this weekend.

Poor Bruce.

Saturday I was fine. I was chatty.

Then the sun went down and I felt headachey and impatient and terse and cold to the bone.

It sucked.

I woke up @ 4am sunday morning and couldn't fall back to sleep til after 5.

That NEVER happens to me anymore. I couldn't even blame it on a hot flash

Same thing Sunday. I was ok all day then for no real reason just felt blue.

And headachey. And cold.

So at 6 I took a nap. Then I felt better. For a little while.

I have to chalk it up to hormones and the shorter, darker days cause life is so good right now.

There's a lot of the unbloggable going on, but its good unbloggable.

Cause you know the bad shit in my life is WAY bloggable.

But the good unbloggable stuff is piling more onto my already too full plate.

Maybe that explains my fat ass...

I usually go out of my way to keep life as simple as possible.

I deny my kids after school activities cause I can't stand driving around in circles.

Jack walks to tae kwon do.

Ty's cello lesson is 4 minutes away and the cello teacher has a really comfy couch so I regularly fall asleep listening to them play Bach and Tchaikovsky.

Mia did art camp because it occupied her for 8 hours a day and made my life easier

I'm a selfish bitch

I also am inherently lazy and undisciplined.

So now I'm dealing with a gazillion more things than usual which makes no sense cause I'm really a person who just wants to sit down and do nothing

Which is what I've been doing. Absolutely nothing.

On the weekends I sit in the backyard with Bruce and look at the bluesky for hours on end.

Then we stroll down Main st. We listen to music.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I go to yoga.

And if Jordana or Anouk call I'll forget about all the things I have to do and we'll have lunch instead.

I'm thinking some of these blues may be due to the nagging voice telling me

there's a lot of work to be done get up off your lazy fat ass while you still have time before you're really in the weeds and behind the eight ball

Oh well. There are only a few more warm sunshiny days left.

I'll wait till the really crappy weather to get all this shit done.

*****

OK. I know it's Tuesday. And it's not even Tuesday morning. It's Tuesday night.

I wrote the above blah blah blah at work yesterday, and that's exactly how I was feeling.

So I decided to do something productive today. Something I could feel good about.

Like when you clean your entire kitchen from top to bottom.

BUDGET

We don't have one. We buy what we buy. We don't pay attention. It's pathetic. And wasteful.

Finances. Cash flow. Bills. Money in. Money out.

Epic fail.

I do not feel better.