Blogger ate my post in some weird way so this is amended from yesterday
wine story to follow-too much torture
Absolutely positively under no circumstances will I Mr. Linky this to Unknown Mami's Sundays In My City
WARNING: CONTAINS TOTALLY X-RATED CONTENT
OK. I'll start with Friday's flat tire on the way to work. In the rain.
A morning fully booked with baby check ups and I get a flat.
Did I mention it was raining? And cold?
What a way to start a 12 hour day.
Thanks to Geico, I have roadside emergency service.
And Bruce hadn't yet left for work so he came to rescue me.
And while I was standing roadside in the rain watching my van get towed away, J texts me about a hair dryer
cause it's time to ghetto wrap the windows again and offers me the use of her car for the day.
Because she's awesome like that.
The Universe is Abundant.
So all is well and good. I get to work at 10:45. I see my babies. The garage calls.
964.00 worth of new tires and various transmission-y oily gassy things so the 10 year old van will pass inspection.
Fine. It's only money.
OK. So where's the X-RATED part?
I'm saving the best for last.
Yesterday was a beautiful fall day in our little town and I was walking home from returning J's car.
2 blocks from home, I'm on the phone with Mia to see if she wants me to make pancakes and a car pulls up behind me and slows down.
I see a good looking young man leaning toward the open passenger window.
Excuse me. Can you tell me where Kennedy's is?
Truth be told, I thought this was odd.
Young good looking black guy wearing a black doo rag driving a black car with a baby car seat in the back asking where the fried chicken place is.
shame on me for making assumptions
So being the nice helpful non-judge-y I'm-not-scared-of-young-black-men girl that I am, I start directing him to the chicken place.
I look back at him and he's sucking his thumb
And yanking on his big erection
And looking right at me
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?
Which is exactly what I yelled at him.
I wanted to jump into the car and smack him in the head for being an asshole but thought twice about that.
So instead I yelled I'm calling the police.
Now I can barely make my stupid Crackberry work when I have all my wits about me.
The first number that popped into my head was 411.
So I held up my phone to take a picture of the car and the front license plate but alas there was no front plate
so I kept yelling that I was calling the cops and getting his plates and taking a picture.
All the while he's sucking his thumb and whacking off and watching me.
Then he backed his car up so I couldn't see his rear plate and drove away.
PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF
I got home, yelling and screaming, ranting and raving, got in to the van, and went looking for that fucker.
After 10 minutes driving around I gave up and went to the police station to file a report.
Quite a scene.
Me yelling at the cops through the bulletproof window about erections and thumb sucking and fried chicken.
They dispatched a few cars and took my statement.
I'm a weird combination of irate and amusingly astounded.
I know this is twisted thinking but I wanted to slap him and say what the fuck is wrong with you you're a really good looking kid what the fuck are you doing?
I did not feel scared. Nor threatened. Nor violated.
I actually crack up when I think about it. Dumbass Freak
I know that a lot of women out there might be traumatized if this happened to them. Or at least grossed out and vomity.
What if Mia had been with me?
Which is why I'm going vigilante.
Bruce said Chica it was really weird but let it go.
No way. I'm gonna find that fucker if it's the last thing I do.