"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn

"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn
it's a jungle out there

Friday, July 17, 2009

Friday Fragments

It was our last day of vacation. We were walking through Booth Bay Harbor, and somehow Jack and I had straggled behind. We were ambling along a quiet, deserted street, chatting about the end of our trip, and he reached for my hand. My almost 12 year old was actually holding my hand in public. So sweet. You know, he's at that age... I can barely address him in public, and his little brother and sister are positively mortifying. He wants to hang with his friends, not us. Yet he still won't go to bed until I tuck him in and kiss his forehead. In the privacy of our home, he'll still come up to me and hug me and say I love you mommy. But this public acknowledgment of feeling the mommy luv was sure something. Then we rounded a corner and came upon shops and traffic and people. Dropped my hand like a hot potato. But somehow I was able to appreciate that gesture as much as I did the gesture of him tentatively taking my hand. My tween Jack.

What is it about summer that makes it even harder than usual for me to don a bra?? Sweat?? Heat?? This morning I went through 5 different tops, trying to find one that would be OK sans brassiere. No such luck. I just want to wear a tank top or a t-shirt to stay cool and comfy, but even the kids groan in mock disgust and cover their eyes mom put a bra on!! I spent something like 80 out of 86 months either pregnant or breast feeding. And the boobies are certainly the worse for wear. And I have NEVER found a comfortable bra. They do not exist. Panties can be comfy, shoes can be comfy, even pelvic exams can be just fine. But bras? Uggh. Hate em.

Jack's having a not so good summer. His best bud is off visiting his dad. His other best bud moved to Texas. He says he's more than depressed, but not yet suicidal. Morose is the word he used. It breaks my heart. Yesterday he said mom, our family is really screwed up. That breaks my heart even more. I happen to think we're all doing remarkably well, all things considered. But that's my grown-up perspective. Of course it seems screwed up to him. He remembers really good times. Intact times. Times that felt stable and safe. Never fear ladies, we ARE safe. But we haven't had that feeling of being part of an awesome family for quite a while now. And I guess none of us are really sure we're gonna get that feeling back.

I don't watch tv, except for Lost and Grey's Anatomy.  I have a secret desire to be a hot chick stranded on a beautiful tropical island with a bunch of hot guys and other hot chicks. I also love the idea of being a key player in a weird time warpy we're all connected and we have to save ourselves and the planet plot. yeah, i'll admit that i may have an overblown sense of worldly purpose and responsibility. Grey's Anatomy is on my short list only for the hot cast. Stories are relatively lame, but the acting's good. In a network tv prime time kinda way. Well, it's summer, and I can't even catch reruns. But there is Netflix. Got Season 4 of Weeds. Mary Louise Parker. Love her. Hot. Funny. Really funny. Still can't believe they can actually put that stuff on tv. Guess I'm glad they do.

Friday fragments courtesy of Mrs. 4444. Go check her out, she's awesome.
Have a great weekend!


  1. LOL about the bras. I too HATE wearing one. I am a DDD, though, so there is not chance of me not wearing one in public. I never wear one at home, though. I refuse to, and of couse hubs loves that. haha

    I watch so much TV, but neither Lost of Grey's. Grey's is too much drama for me. I am affraid to watch Lost, because I would be too lost. No pun intended. I have not watched it, so I wouldn't know what is going on.

  2. Oh Michelle- I love you so. I love your family. One of these days, that boy of yours will realize that different isn't always not good. Or safe. Bless you. So easy (relatively) to keep them physically fine and then you have to worry about their hearts and souls, too which is too hard.
    Bras? Evil. I did the math- I was either pregnant or nursing for 134 months, which is a conservative estimate. You can only imagine the ravages which my poor bosoms are.

  3. Bras are my arch enemy...why is it that there never seems to be one that's actually comfy?

    Lost and Grey's are two of my favorites...love the idea of being a hot chick stranded on a beautiful tropical island with a bunch of hot guys and other hot chicks...yeah, I could live like that. ;)

    I dread the tween years in the future - for the very reason of PDA becoming almost non-existent. So cool you had that moment with Jack! And sorry he's having a not good summer...hopefully things will perk up for him...

    Happy FF! :)

  4. I understand about Jack and his summer, and I know what that can do a mother's heart and sometimes spirit. If only we were neighbors, I have a boy who can totally relate to that which Jack may be feeling.

    Instead, I send you send you my thoughts...I understand.

  5. The holding hands story is just beautiful. Too touching.

  6. I watched the first few seasons of WEEDS and loved it (too many other shows the kids CAN watch on TV now, though, competing). She is something else!

    Jack-so sweet.

    You know, an easy way to help your family build identity and feel good is to volunteer together somewhere. Just a thought, in case you aren't doing that already. It's just a very "feel good" thing to do with the fam.

    I have to laugh about the bra thing; there is NO way I could EVER get away with walking around without a bra in this house. Just picturing the looks on the kids' faces is hilarious!

    Happy FF! Thanks for joining in this week :)

  7. I just have to say...awwww...on that first fragment! My 7 and 8yo boys already don't like me to hold their hands in public. :(

  8. I've got my own tween (soon to be teen) of my own, so I'm totally relating on the son thing!

    Enjoy your weekend!


so... wadaya think?

Your fairy is called Columbine Icedancer
She is a bone chilling bringer of justice for the vulnerable.
She lives in mushroom fields and quiet meadows.
She is only seen when the bees swarm and the crickets chirrup.
She wears lilac and purple like columbine flowers. She has icy blue butterfly wings.