"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn

"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn
it's a jungle out there

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Good morning

On Monday, Ty auditioned for a very special orchestra. The folks who ran cello camp also have orchestras during the school year. They're no joke. Serious business for serious kid string musicians. These teachers are super nice, super talented, and do an amazing job with the kids. The kind of job that makes you want to stand up and cheer with tears squirting out of you eyes well, that's what I did because when those kids play, they are just so fucking amazing.  

Anyway, so Ty auditioned. B took him. They were both super excited to have some Daddy & Ty time, especially for something as important as THE CELLO. Well let me tell you, Ty kicked butt, and was offered a seat for the fall. 

They had a great time together. 
Wonderful. 
Healing. 

Thanks for coming with me, Daddy
As B said, these words are not at all Ty-like.

Ty is a boy of few words. He's also extraordinarily stubborn and unforgiving. You can cross him once. That's it. You don't get another chance with him. And he's unable to admit he's wrong. Or even mistaken. So for Ty to let down his brick wall, let his dad back in, and express gratitude, well, that's quite a feat. As far as I'm concerned, it's much more of an accomplishment than being accepted into that orchestra. 
although this new cello gig is pretty sweet too

So, the night after the audition, Ty couldn't sleep. 
He finally came into my room and burst into tears...
 
I miss Daddy. 
he's only said those words two other times in the past 6 months, both when crazy mommy psycho bitch was rearing her ugly head

I think it was really hard for him to switch emotional gears and sit with the feeling of loving and wanting and appreciating his daddy. I think maybe it was exhausting to let go of his anger. And I bet it took alot of energy for that little 8 year old body to hold up the brick wall all these months. 


Tuesday morning, Ty woke up pretty subdued. My guess is that he felt kind of drained and beat up. 

Well, you know what I do when things aren't sitting quite right. 






Ty made breakfast. 
Pancakes. Scrambled eggs.
No traces of Patsy, but he was humming Bach's Minuet #1
He did a great job.
And he seemed to feel better afterwards.

How sweet is that.

8 comments:

  1. I hear those words everyday, "I miss daddy."
    Maxine adores her dad and the four days of the week she's with me are like torture to her. I feel bad and I try to make her happy, but playing games and homecooked meals don't compete with the zoo and McDonalds.

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  2. Michelle, you are such a wonderful mother for understanding your kids so well. they are so fortunate to have you! And I love that at 8 years old he knows how to cook AND is learning how to emote in a way most grown men haven't mastered.

    You rock! And YAY for Ty! Congrats!

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  3. I don't have the proper words to express all I feel about this, because it is so beautiful and inspiring, and you are SUCH a great mother/person. Thank you for sharing this with us, and YEAH for Ty.

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  4. My oldest son, as I have said, is the cross on my back. He is tough. Of course, I love him, but he makes things hard sometimes...no..all of the time.

    This story has reminded me that boys keep things inside...and instead of sharing, or crying, they act out. They are stubborn. They are angry.

    I need to be more patient and understanding with my son. Thank you for reminding me.

    I am excited for Ty...I think music is a beautiful gift, and that those who HAVE that gift, are sensitive, loving, and feeling people.

    I dont know your story...when or why daddy left...but have seen how my own sister has had to deal with this sort of situation. You ladies are really brave and wonderful.

    I can't wait to hear Ty play...

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  5. AWW, Congrats to you for raising such an amazing little man. It's so wonderful that he opened up to you...and cooked on top of that!

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  6. Congratulations to Ty!!

    And congratulations to you - you are raising quite a young man.

    (ps: the Obama Chia head, totally legit. I would never (could never) come up with that. Give it a Google search if you get a chance - crazy.)

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  7. Way to go, Ty!! This is beautiful.

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so... wadaya think?

Your fairy is called Columbine Icedancer
She is a bone chilling bringer of justice for the vulnerable.
She lives in mushroom fields and quiet meadows.
She is only seen when the bees swarm and the crickets chirrup.
She wears lilac and purple like columbine flowers. She has icy blue butterfly wings.