"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn

"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn
it's a jungle out there

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Catch up #1

I have a bunch of half-completed posts. The week got away from me.

Too much Unbloggable going on, resulting in bloggus interruptus.

So I'm playing catch-up today

Just before Thanksgiving, Dr. Arlene said So? Are the holidays gonna be weird this year? It's the first year without your mom.

Now I love Dr. Arlene to pieces. She's brash and loud and completely insane. She's a 56 year old born and bred Brooklyn Kosher Jew who can drop blowjob in the same sentence as ear infection. She doesn't pull any punches and she pisses A LOT of people off. She's also an amazing pediatrician. Out of the 26 of us, she's one of the few I take my own kids to.

Lots of people can't stand her. When I look at her I see a big fat fucking diamond hidden in the body of a crazy person.

So she asked me this question out of the blue, in the middle of the nurses station in her big crazy voice. It was kind of awkward.
The nurses looked around in discomfort and then looked at me to see if I was OK and then rolled their eyes oh my god she is so fucking impossible.

The question caught me off guard.
No. Not at all. It will be fine.

I was so wrong.

I think we the Sisters all felt a big weird hole. I felt disoriented and off balance.
I don't know if my wackiness was due to Christmas without our parents or Christmas in the wake of the Unbloggable.
Probably both.

It could also have been the struggle to not scream at the top of my lungs and fall down on the floor in a sobbing hysterical puddle.
That shit takes a lot of energy to hold in.

At the end of the evening we exchanged gifts. OK. So there wasn't much of an exchange.
We had all kind of agreed to keep gifts to a minimum, maybe just stocking stuffers for the kids or special hand me downs.
Sister Adrienne had stockings for her twins cause she brilliantly has kept her home and her babies' brains Consumer Christmas Free. wish i had done the same.

Sister Halona and I looked at the pile of Christmas stockings in utter confusion.
Inside the Twins' stockings were cards from their Grumsie.
Her handwriting.
Cash in each card.
Michelle!?! what is this??? what the fuck is this??? Where did these come from???
Sister Halona is Baptist.
She does NOT swear.
Those are from last year. Maybe Adrienne forgot them and they've been in the stockings all this time.
No. NO. The stockings were all empty. Where did these come from?

I think she was a little freaked out.
It didn't help that we were in the room intended for our mom to live out the rest of her days. She never made it there.

Sister Melanie had gifts for the nieces and nephews.
Framed photos of each grandchild with Grums and Gramps.

Everyone was crying.

Sister Halona said nice going Mel

Then Sister Melanie handed me a box.

The best picture EVER of me. I do not photograph well. I get all spazzy and blink and can't smile right. This was taken on Sister Melanie's wedding day. It was a happy day. I was happy and my eyes were leaking. And someone with a camera caught it.

Sister Melanie also gave me Ruby Slippers

Best Christmas Gift EVER
causing me to fall down on the floor
in a sobbing hysterical puddle

I'm glad Christmas is over...


  1. So THAT's where that beautiful picture comes from. And you know what I always say?
    You can't have a bad time in a pair of red shoes.
    Wear them in good and happy health.
    You deserve that.

  2. You really do look smashing in the photo. I know what you mean about holidays without your mom, though. It's hard to make "new" traditions where the old ones stood so firmly.

    Oh, and A-to-the-effn'-MEN! I'm so glad Christmas is over.

  3. So much magic and mystery and mayhem in one Christmas. I love the photo of you - such joy in your face. I love the ruby slippers. When things get too weird, just put them on an click your heels.
    Keep up posted, OK? I'm thinking about you, wishing you better, and more normal, if you know what I mean.
    I'm still trying to wrap my brain around this Christmas and New year. Not at all what I had in mind, not sure where I stand on all this, just sure that from this point on, my life is mine and what I make of it. Little more reality and reponsibility than I was interested in dealing with, but I'm dealing, trying to figure it all out one day, one step at a time. Just like you. Now I just have to find myself some ruby slippers...

  4. Fabulous photo - your sisters are almost as awesome as my sisters.

    Been thinking of you this week.

  5. Red shoes are big for me. I can't wear heels anymore but I still love me some red shoes! I also LOVE the photo and I suggest for a moment your difficulties being photographed passed to the blonde behind you.

  6. I, too, have a pair of red shoes and wish that we could put them on and go somewhere together! For that matter, we should form some kind of red shoes for women group and all go somewhere together.

    And that photo of you is gorgeous --

  7. Gorgeous photo of you and the shoes...LOVE THEM!

  8. I hope this year brings you a lot of joy.

  9. Michelle, our belle -- I am so glad to hear from you.

  10. Oh, the way you described Dr Arlene! Perfect. You are a book writer, you know.
    There's a book in you.
    I can almost taste it.

    Wow, what a mix of emotions. I am surprised you did not fall into a sobbing hysterical puddle.

    Those shoes, that pic! Wow.
    Your sisters are the best.

  11. I'm glad it's all over, too. But those gifts are so great.


so... wadaya think?

Your fairy is called Columbine Icedancer
She is a bone chilling bringer of justice for the vulnerable.
She lives in mushroom fields and quiet meadows.
She is only seen when the bees swarm and the crickets chirrup.
She wears lilac and purple like columbine flowers. She has icy blue butterfly wings.