Animal tails I

I've been moved to tell animal stories. 

I have many. So here we go...

Let's start with our cats

For some reason, a few years back, I decided we needed cats. Cats??  B asks. I'm allergic. So is Jack. I hate cats. Well, since B has always deferred to my judgement and wishes, I made a visit to our local cat sanctuary. Right in our town, this place keeps hundreds of cats and never puts them down. So I speak with the woman who runs the place, who is very nice, very helpful. I give her the lowdown on our family structure, our house, and what I'm looking for. For some reason I think we need TWO cats still not sure why. Cat Lady is sure she can recommend kitties to fit the bill. 

I'm thinking I should come back with then 3 yr old Mia always the wild card. I want to make sure she won't pull out their whiskers or try to paint their toenails or other such mia nonsense.

Mia and I return to check out the cats recommended by Cat Lady. Seems she's chosen well. 2 full grown cats, mellow with Mia and each other. 

Now this cat sanctuary is actually a converted house. There's room after room full of cats. Hundreds of them, and Cat Lady knows every cat's name and history and personality. No really, she does. So although her 2 choices are perfectly acceptable, Mia wants to see all the cats in all the rooms of course she does. So we go from room to room, and she pets and smiles and oohs and giggles. We get to like the 4th room full of cats, and there's this black cat sitting on a carpeted pedestal at just the right height to be eyeball to eyeball with Mia.  I look at this cat and I think old. Mia puts both her hands up and scratches behind this cat's ears. Then she puts her hands down and leans in. This cat turns his head, LOOKS RIGHT AT ME, and turns back to Mia and touches his nose to hers.  And stays there. Nose to nose with Mia. What??? Mia stands up, looks at me and says mommy I like this cat. That cat just turns and looks me straight in the eye again do I know you???  So I take a closer look. 

Hmmm... something's wrong with his eye... and his mouth has that old man puckered look.  

So I ask Cat Lady about the black cat on the pedastal. 

Oh yes she smiles that's Tac. He's 19. He has 3 teeth. And a bad eye. 

We'll take him I say. Cat Lady squints her eyes at me, raises an eyebrow, and smiles. 

He kissed Mia on the nose... 

Cat Lady changes her recommendation for the second cat as Tac is a super duper alpha male. 

We get Niles who's maybe 6 and weighs like 20 lbs.

So $250 later we take our "adopted" cats home.

The kids are so excited. That night when B calls they're all talking into the phone at once 

daddy we got 2 cats... one is bigandfat and black and white, and the other is all black and has only 3 teeth and blind in one eye and is 19 years old!  

Put mommy on the phone....

Chica??? what are you doing, teaching the kids about death?? That cat's gonna die in like 2 weeks. Good thing we have that big yard to bury him in... bah humbug.

Two days later B is still stressed about the potential heartache I've put the kids at risk for by taking in this decrepit cat. 8 yr old Jack overhears.

Dad, what's better?... we could have them from kittens and get totally attached and then like one day we come home from school and see gravestones in the backyard that say:

Tac - He was a Good Cat 

or 

Niles - We Knew Him Well.

Yeah, that's what I say

Tac, he was a good cat. And Niles is just fat.