getting my house in order

getting my house in order
it's a jungle out there

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Junkie

Hi... my name is Michelle... and I'm a blog junkie. It's only been about a month, but from the first time I tried it, I was hooked. My blog was supposed to be about food politics and social justice. Noble and lofty. But it quickly degenerated into something entirely different... dark... maybe even mundane. Now, it consumes my life. I'm following blogs in the morning, instead of finding socks for my kids and making breakfast. I'm online for hours at a time on my days off. Reading, commenting, lurking. I try to stay away, but the pull is too strong. I can't resist. It's a secret at work, no one knows. As far as they know, I'm the one who jams up the copier, can't fax, can't open inter-office email. But when I'm in the office, it's always in the back of my mind. I'm always writing the next new post in my head... what's it about? how will it read... Looking at the clock, counting the minutes until I can get home and log on.  I'm avoiding my friends who don't blog to spend time with new friends that do. I'm sacrificing things that are good for me, like yoga, and sleep, to blog instead. My family and close friends have noticed..."it's so not like you... I couldn't believe it when I heard... as long as it doesn't become a problem..." When I haven't posted for a few days, I feel edgy and nervous. I'm viewing life through bloggy lenses... every event, every interaction... is it bloggable? My kids are becoming enablers... OK mommy, you can take my picture, you can blog about me.

But it helps relieve the stress. It's entertaining. It's how I relax. It's cheap. I haven't watched television in weeks, and read only a few pages of the Twilight series a day. It helps me chronicle my life, and now I can cut & paste and use a camera. I'm a little worried it may be a gateway to linking, but I don't think I'll let it get to that point.  

Maybe I can control it. Maybe I'll just do it after the kids are asleep. I still have my job, the kids are OK, I haven't emptied my bank account. Yes... I think I can manage my blog. I'm not quite ready to give it up just yet.


disclaimer: I am TOTALLY poking fun at myself. It would appear I've had plenty of exposure to 12 step programs, and in no way do I mean to hurt, offend, or trivialize anything, or anyone

8 comments:

  1. Oh, dear, you have some of the signs...welcomw to the world! : ) Yeah, my kids say the same thing; and I AM in a 12 step recovery program and it just makes me laugh. E, the oldest boy, says, " I think they have meetings for blogging addictions, too, mom."

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  2. too good michelle.

    shit, we're in trouble!

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  3. it is funny, my kids do the samething, "hey mom we can totally put it on the blog" even extended family, it consumes alot of my time, but i consider reading about others and writing about us releaves alot of stress. my name is andrea and i am addicted to blogging :)

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  4. I've written about this too. It's true. It happens. We get addicted. It's time-consuming. It's crazy.
    It's not crack. Okay, it sort of is crack. Crack for mommies. Crack for writers. Crack for people who are interested in other people's stories and lives.
    I have no answers. Try to control yourself. See what happens.
    And then do what I do- submit to the Power Of The Blog.

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  5. i only encourage you to write more - for purely selfish reasons.

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  6. Let me enable you ...

    Writing and reading blogs is the best damn study break possible.

    And comments? They are like jackpots.

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  7. yeah! so good to see jordana in full effect.

    comment are like the BEST jackpots...

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  8. welcome.

    I now view my days events as blog worthy, or not. I also see a whole more in my every day. The little things that I was missing.
    Blogging is a good addiction.

    And you have just begun...

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so... wadaya think?

Your fairy is called Columbine Icedancer
She is a bone chilling bringer of justice for the vulnerable.
She lives in mushroom fields and quiet meadows.
She is only seen when the bees swarm and the crickets chirrup.
She wears lilac and purple like columbine flowers. She has icy blue butterfly wings.