"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn

"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn
it's a jungle out there

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

A good day

Bruce and I text all day long cause it's easier than trying to have a conversation

pathetic
though when we're in the same house, we usually use our indoor voices

Bruce: how are u today?
we rarely have more than 30 seconds in the morning to say hi/there's coffee/bye

Me: Just thinking of calling. Spent 3 hrs @ dentist, van is still getting inspected, and I forgot about cello lesson. It's a good day

Bruce: by that i just mean taking everything in, carpe that ole diem. you know


That's the difference between me and my husband. I'm the practical one
which is a scary thought if you know me. I'm the one who impulsively buys houses and paints them pink and purple, and had too many babies a little late in life. I'm the one who wants to hang it all up and dig wells in Africa. I'm the one who doesn't even THINK about saving money. I'm the artist. But I'm also the one who takes care of the pink and purple house. And I'm the one who takes care of the late in life babies who share it with us.

Bruce is the the one who gets stressed out over 401ks vs IRAs
what the fuck are those? He's the one who said we could never afford a house. He's the one who makes sure we NEVER purchase something we can't pay for. He's the one who wouldn't leave New York because of job security. what??? NY is the ONLY restaurant town on the PLANET??? That's Bruce. But Bruce is also the romantic. He wants to be AWAKE through life. Doesn't want to miss a smell or a taste or a sensation. Wants to experience it all, and then some. He wants LIFE. He wants LOVE. He wants PASSION.

Me. Not so much.

So when Bruce sends me a text asking how I AM, I respond in pretty concrete terms. What's getting done. What's not getting done. Who's not doing what needs to get done. What's going smoothly. Who's melting down.

That's my life.
That's what dictates how I AM

Dentist check extra bonus points cause i got a cleaning too
State motor vehicle inspection check it's a miracle it's not 3 weeks overdue
Screwed up cello lesson
despite the fucking blackberry goddammit that's supposed to tell me when I'm late rescheduled for tomorrow cause the cello teacher's awesome

Sometimes, I do get restless. Aggravated. Frustrated. I think about what might have been, but is not. But mostly, I feel like I still have time to dig wells in Africa. Or travel across country in a winnebago. Silly me. I still have time.

Bruce always feels like time's a wastin'. It's slippin' away. SEIZE THE DAY

It's kinda funny.

So although it's pedestrian, provincial, and pathetic, it's OK. Cause it's all about the wooly mammoth. i'll explain that one tomorrow.

I don't need over the top or larger than life. My life is quite large enough most days thank you very much. I just need to feel like I'm not spinning my wheels, getting ripped off, or sacrificing my kids to this insane culture.

Ms. Moon talks about feeding the chickens and kissing Owen and the live oaks. And let me tell you, that lady's no schlump. That's what it's all about. The simple stuff. Life in a bowl of soup, or a new inspection sticker on the minivan. Or no tears at the dentist. That's my life.

Keep it simple.

Anything more than that and my head's gonna explode.

10 comments:

  1. You and Bruce sound like a brilliant pairing.

    How does one dream big and get the emissions testing done on time? Do me a favor and tell me when you figure it out.

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  2. I think you have to write a book about the wooly mammoth because you apply it to EVERYTHING.

    And if the winnebago's big enough, we'll join you.

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  3. I'm not like either of you, but I think I would like to be more like both of you.

    can't wait to hear about the wooly mammoth.

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  4. Sometimes a good day for me is just getting the laundry folded.

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  5. wednesday comment fragments (courtesy of adrienne)

    you don't need over the top or larger than life, but you married bruce. hmmm...

    you're the practical one, but bruce is the 401k, ira, 'having savings which equal 47 years of household expenses to the eighth power in the bank' one. another hmmm...

    you and your brood, halona and her brood (including bear?), and beatles rock band in a winnebago?

    been there. please don't try this one at home...

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  6. Oh Lord yes. I recognize this sort of relationship. You just inspired me to post a picture of a post-it note that Mr. Moon left me one day. We don't text but we do leave each other notes sometimes.
    I love you, Michelle. I do.

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  7. You sound almost like me....but Bruce sounds a whole lot like my husband. My husband pays cash for almost everything and if we don't have the cash, then we don't get it. We are probably the ONLY people on the planet without cable or a fancy television set. (Our TV is 20?? years old)

    Does Bruce do something in the restaurant business? You mentioned restaurants in reference to Bruce.....

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  8. Love this post -- and the photos of you and the kids on Christmas Day are gorgeous. What a beautiful family!

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  9. Great post. The Dave Matthews Band song about "The Space Between" always meant a lot to me for this reason- I always interpreted it as a man reminding a woman that in between the big stuff- tears and storms and wars and triumphs- he's there, waiting with the mundane.

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so... wadaya think?

Your fairy is called Columbine Icedancer
She is a bone chilling bringer of justice for the vulnerable.
She lives in mushroom fields and quiet meadows.
She is only seen when the bees swarm and the crickets chirrup.
She wears lilac and purple like columbine flowers. She has icy blue butterfly wings.