"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn
it's a jungle out there
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Thoughts on New Year's Eve
I wish I had taken a picture of the moon last night. It was clear and just a hair shy of full. It's been snowing all day, and though it seems to be clearing up, we may not have a good view of this New Year's Blue Moon of the Decade.
Bruce and I have never spent a New Year's Eve together. Or a Valentine's Day for that matter. I'm a chef's widow. So it's a good thing I don't give a rat's ass about all that romantic stuff, let me tell you.
The first New Year's we were married, I surprised Bruce with a huge sushi boat for 2 and a bottle of champagne. I planned this mainly 'cause I thought I was supposed to do something romantic, being a married lady and all. That shit does not come easy to me. I special ordered the sushi, which was way more than we could afford at the time. Bruce got home from the work at 3 a.m. He was done with caviar and lobster, and had to climb over thousands who had watched the ball drop in Times Square to get the train home. We ate a ton of sushi and drank the champagne and I got sick as a dog. I'm a lightweight. That's the the highlight of my romantic gestures over the past 18 new years.
He spent last night at the restaurant in order to start his 19 hr day early.
Home phone rings. Caller ID tells me it's Bruce
me: AAARGH!!! B: watsa matter, Chica? Is that a sigh of resignation? me: I can't resign. This is a lifetime gig. There's no one to accept my resignation B: You can fax it in... didn't you see the fax number at the top of the page? me: it's all blurry goddammit... He's having one of his romantic seize the day moments. He called to say he's so glad he found me. He tells me this in his sighing you're my chica voice.
Meanwhile I'm yelling at Ty you cannot put clean clothes on such a dirty body. go take a shower. Jack's squawking where's my robe... did you wash my robe?... Yes, Jack, I'm washing your robe cause you haven't taken it off in 2 days. Never mind the fact that I haven't showered in 3. Mom, my cell phone is in the pocket. So I'm holding the phone between my shoulder and my ear, trying to focus on the sweet nothings and CARPE DIEM and rescue Jack's cell phone before the washer fills up with water.
Chica???... you still there???...
He says he's driving home tonight, cause he doesn't want to spend another night away. Which is all very well and good, but scares the shit out of me cause its NEW. YEAR'S. EVE. And he has a dark and windy drive home. And people drive when they shouldn't. And it's snowing. And after all we've been through this year IT WOULD REALLY FUCKING SUCK if some drunk driver squishes him like a grape.
So. On that note... Have a wonderful New Year Be safe And please don't get squished cause I'll be sad
"it occurred to me that the only real sin you can commit as a mother is to deny your children's right to be who they are and what they want to be and that the only real sin you can commit against yourself is to deny who you truly are and prevent yourself from being who that is"