"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn
it's a jungle out there
Saturday, February 20, 2010
A New Orleans bedtime story for Jordana
Once upon a time there was a Beautiful Princess named Michelle. And Michelle was married to a Handsome Prince named Bruce. They lived in a tiny cottage overlooking a beautiful river and they were very happy. What Princess Michelle wanted most in the world was to have a baby. And Prince Bruce said of course Chica because he would do anything in the world to make his beloved happy.
So Princess Michelle got pregnant and the baby was due to be born on Halloween. Princess Michelle was so excited. She looked forward to having their new baby at the royal family's Christmas Celebration, which was always the most beautiful, fancy, delicious, fun celebration of the whole year.
But then something terrible happened. Princess Michelle had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. The Prince and Princess were devastated. For the next 6 months they hoped and prayed for another baby. Princess Michelle had never been so sad in her entire life. With each passing month the pain in her heart grew bigger and bigger. There were some days her heart was so heavy she thought it might just. stop. beating.
Halloween came and went. Princess Michelle was still not pregnant. She began to wonder if she was cursed. Maybe she was being punished. Maybe she needed to ask the village midwife for a magic potion to break the evil spell. Prince Bruce said Chica you're not cursed its just gonna take a little time. But Princess Michelle cried soon Christmas will be here and I can't bear the thought of going to the Royal Family Celebration without a Baby. I don't think I can make it through Christmas this year. So Prince Bruce said Chica I'll take you away to the Magical Kingdom of New Orleans and under the spell of that city you will forget all about Christmas.
Which was a big deal because even though they had a kingdom, and everyone called them Prince and Princess, there were like no royal funds. So Prince Bruce, being the Awesome Prince that he is, arranged for Christmas in New Orleans. And Princess Michelle was so relieved, and thought she might be able to get through Christmas if she could pretend Christmas wasn't Christmas.
So they made their plans.
And in between Halloween and Christmas came Thanksgiving. And the day after Thanksgiving Princess Michelle woke up and said hmmm... the royal boobies feel kinda tender and the royal period is a day late.
And yes, that day Princess Michelle and Prince Bruce found out they were royally expecting.
But what about New Orleans?
Well, the Prince and Princess went anyway. Princess Michelle was 9 weeks pregnant and sick as a royal lap dog. All the smells in the French Quarter made her queasy. All the foods that she normally loved made her green around her royal gills. Cajun blek. Gumbo yuck. Andouille no way. Jambalaya wouldn't wanna be ya.
But grits were so good. As were hard boiled eggs and wedges of iceberg lettuce with bleu cheese dressing. That's what Princess Michelle ate for 5 days in New Orleans. Beige food. And beignets. And the growing Royal Tadpole made her feel so tired she could barely put one foot in front of the other. So the Prince and Princess would sight see for an hour or two after breakfast and then Princess Michelle would drag her queasy exhausted pregnant royal butt back to the hotel room and snooze the day away while Prince Bruce walked up and down Bourbon Street and drank Hurricanes.
All day Princess Michelle would lie like the dead in the King sized bed. She would order 3 hardboiled eggs and sometimes grits on the side from room service. She watched Keanu Reeves take A Walk in the Clouds over and over again on cable. And boy, did those hard boiled eggs taste good. She was so happy to feel sick as a royal lapdog.
Their last night in New Orleans they went to the movies. They saw The English Patient. It was the saddest movie they had ever seen. The next day the Prince and Princess and the Royal Tadpole went home.
"it occurred to me that the only real sin you can commit as a mother is to deny your children's right to be who they are and what they want to be and that the only real sin you can commit against yourself is to deny who you truly are and prevent yourself from being who that is"