Holiday Junk Mail

Do you ever wonder how you get on

certain mailing lists?

Especially at this time of year.

Junk

Now, no offense to hunters and shooters

unless you're shooting people

but we're not the shooting types

which is probably a good thing

And although there's a part of me

that would

love love love

a freezer full of venison or wild boar

the epitome of local and organic

procured by my husband

I don't think Bruce will

soon be out hunting

with Mr. Moon

or

Michael Pollan

Bruce balked at the idea

of slaughtering our chickens

but even if he

bit the bullet

so to speak

and hunted for our dinner

he certainly

would never

never

ever

become a member of

the NRA

So how did this land in our mailbox?

FINAL NOTICE

last chance to become

a member

I'm sure our babysitter

did a double take

at the refrigerator door

but

Bruce could really use that

promotional NRA duffel bag

'tho I think he might get

some funny looks

from other commuters

on the Manhattan bound train

and

that orange refrigerator magnet?

swag from a drug rep

pushing ADHD meds

which, I guess is important

if you're a gun toting member of the NRA

and inattentive

or

hyperactive

let that be a lesson to you,

Dick Cheney

Merry Christmas