Right. So it's all about the woolly mammoth. My favorite saying cause sometimes that just explains it all. It explains why we do the things we do, why we are afflicted in the ways we are afflicted. It lets us off the hook cause we're ONLY human dammit.
It explains away everything. Cause it's all about survival of the most fit.
Why do babies develop object permanence and start crawling at about the same time? Cause if you're 9 months old, and crawling out of the cave, away from your cave mama, you'd damn well better know that she's back there some where before the woolly mammoth comes and gets you...
And when you're REALLY hungry, why do you throw all the most fat, most sweet things into your grocery cart? Cause slain woolly mammoth are few and far between, and your body needs fat and sugar to store for the long haul. It explains why the homeless man in Grand Central chooses Sweet and Sour Pork rather than Buddhist Delight with Tofu. Cause who the fuck knows when he's gonna get to eat again.
The woolly mammoth whispers or screams
fat sugar fat sugar
And why do we want our kids to be the best and the brightest? And why do we get in such a tizzy when maybe they're not? Because being the best and brightest means SURVIVAL. If you're the best at slaying woolly mammoth, you will survive. You'll get the best girl, have the best offspring, and you're DNA will persist. And if your kid is at the top of the class, or the best athlete, or gets into an Ivy League school, or is the best cellist, well, then your kid will have the best chance of success. And success equals survival.
So I've been writing a woolly mammoth post in my head for a few days. Sister Halona commented that I apply the woolly mammoth to EVERYTHING. Then she proceeded to ask me about Vitamin D supplements for her toddler and that dang woolly mammoth raised its ivory tusks and I was off and running again...
But somehow, this week, the woolly mammoth isn't explaining it all. Must be the dark days. I want answers beyond the woolly mammoth cause damn those beasts live in the ice and snow, and I prefer toasty warmth thank you very much. Seems like every year at this time, I start searching for answers. I'm drawn to more spiritual writings. I look for evidence of hope and perseverance and renewal.
Maybe it's an inherent preparation for spring.
Maybe it explains this ridiculous wallpaper I've plastered on my blog walls.
Sister Adrienne hit it on the head, and unlocked a door to my understanding. 1+1=2
A long, long time ago, I had a "reading". I sat in an Upper East Side living room, and a perfectly average appearing lady with an angel's voice told me about myself. The only thing I told her was my name.
It was astounding.
There is no explanation other than she was authentic. Period.
She taped the session for me, and 16 years later, I still listen to it when I'm stuck and looking for answers. Right off the bat she knew things about me. I can't really say she made predictions, but over the years things she said that didn't seem so important back then have taken on huge significance.
She said that love activates the healing process in diseased cells.
She said it's actually the belief in the ability to heal that allows healing to happen.
Why did she start with THAT?
I was in nursing school. She only knew my name.
She said she saw that frequently, as a child, I was scared to sleep. That I was aware of something in my room. That it was spirit with me, and it scared me.
holy shit how did she know that?
She said that soon I would become much more aware of spirit, and aware of those who had made the transition, and I would understand more and not be so afraid.
A year later I was working in a home for sick and dying kids.
And I began to understand things that couldn't really be explained. And I was not afraid.
And I saw love healing disease.
She said it was very hard for me to be on the earth plane
no shit sherlock
She said I carried the knowledge from many past lives sorry to get so shirley maclaine on you so when I seemed to contradict myself or have certain ideas one day and then very different ideas the next to give myself a break. When I felt conflicted I should just sleep on it and the part of self which needed to come forward, would.
Sounds a little dissociative, huh? You can call me Sybil
So when Sister Adrienne commented on my new look, it was like BAM flash of light.
walmart and farmer's markets
the Luddite with a Blackberry
the shy antisocial girl who lives in the house that sticks out like a sore easter thumb
The Many Faces of Michelle.
That's why I was having such a hard time writing about the woolly mammoth. Cause in these dark days, the woolly mammoth's not enough. It doesn't feel right for it all to be explained by evolution and Darwin and DNA.
I need some hope. I need some light. I need to believe there's something beyond what can be seen or explained.
Contradiction was a recurring theme in Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged. Ms. Rand noted that contradictions do not exist. If something appears to be a contradiction, it just means your premise is incorrect.
So when I'm stuck between the woolly mammoth and miracles I tell myself I'm working off the wrong premise.
Now I just have to come up with the right one...