"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn

"ignore the story. see the soul. remember to love. you will never regret it" --- Seane Corn
it's a jungle out there

Friday, January 8, 2010

Friday Fragments

Friday Fragments


courtesy of Mrs 4444


Seems like every year, something big goes ker-plooey right around the holidays. Last year, the catalytic converter on the van konked our December 19. The year before, the refrigerator died just before New Year's. A few days ago, the oven knob fell off. Which doesn't seem like such a big deal unless IT STOPS YOU FROM TURNING DOWN THE FLAME AND CUTTING OFF THE GAS.
Off to Sears...


My legs feel like the cured sausages I've been feasting on for the past two weeks. Fat and busting out of their casings. And I'm all clogged up. TMI. And my pits smell. Seriously. It seems like I'm stinky all the time. I can only assume it's from a diet that has consisted of primarily salty meat, cheese, half 'n half, and coffee. I can't remember the last time I ate a green vegetable. shame on me. Today I'm craving canned pineapple. eewww. Maybe I'll do a pineapple cleanse to flush out the toxins and get things moving along.
Do you think it will work?


It's a balmy 34 degrees here. woo hoo


During Jack's Tae Kwon Do class, the crazy instructor announced "who knows what the 1st Amendment is?"
I have no idea what that has to do with tae kwon do. One kid raised his hand. His answer began with "Thou shalt not..." It was very funny.
BTW- it's freedom of speech


I told Bruce I only wanted him back for his laptop. He told me he only wanted me back for my lapdance. hee hee. Good thing I don't need my ovaries anymore since I sit in bed with the laptop on them every night. I can feel the heat from the damn thing through the bedcovers and all I can think is sheesh, my old eggs are getting irradiated as I blog away.



Short and sweet this week.

Have a good weekend.

16 comments:

  1. I like the pineapple idea. I think pineapple is a holy fruit, maybe even holier than the mango. I'm not sure.
    My oven went out last year during the holidays. I have a new one that I love. Gotta have an oven. That's all there is to it.
    Enjoy your laptop and lap dances. I just purely love you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. 18 degrees here in the ATL....and now I want pineapple!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm all clogged up, have been eating tinned peaches right out of the tin, and the nob on my oven is doing weird things to me. Freaky!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thou shalt not! LOL!!

    It's in the 30s here and you'd think the sky was falling- here in the deep south we get excited over cold weather, because it means the once every 10 years snow event might be THIS YEAR OMG. Our poor weather forecasters.

    Mmmmm.... pineapple.

    ReplyDelete
  5. “No offense, Arby, but that suggestion makes me want to shoot myself in the head.

    No offense taken, Michelle. The question makes me want to shoot myself in the head, too. I just figured that if Tm was so hard up for blogging topics that she needed to go jonesing for ideas, I’d mess with her just a bit.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't eat meat but when I did the holidays were always a meat fest.

    Why does everything I say sound so freaking perverted?

    Once or twice a week I eat all 'raw' (milk in my hot coffee is the exception to this)...just makes me feel awesome and vital. But then the next day I crash and eat oatmeal with peanut butter.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have been eating the same diet as you. Just add red wine. I just DO NOT like vegetables. At all.

    I love you Michelle. Happy New Year.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Next time, up the coffee consumption - will fix that clogged problem toot sweet.

    So funny about the ovaries thing! I was thinking that the other night. I could actually hear mine screaming for relief.

    Too bad suckers - your days of being useful are over!

    Glad you got the knob thingy fixed. Bad. Very bad.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I thought I was the ONLY person who had these holiday and post-holiday home calamities. Last year, we had to replace the clutch on my hubby's car... once at Christmas, and then again (obviously, the first people, who went out of business, did not do a good job) at Easter!!!!

    ~Elizabeth
    Confessions From A Working Mom

    ReplyDelete
  10. It's 13F with an even worse windchill. It shouldn't get this cold...ever.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hm, I have nothign to add about the weather, because it's funking cold. And I have no, um, stoppage problems, so nothing there. Since Steve doesn't HAVE a laptop, I can't quite figure out just WHY I wanted him to move in...hmmph. :) Have a good weekend! And oh, I love me some pineapple but it gives me canker sores. Because I can't eat one or six slices, I have to eat the whole can.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Laptop for lapdance, sounds fair.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm laughing at your assertion that you stink! It cannot be!

    And a pineapple cleanse sounds invigorating...but dang, it's too cold in my 'hood!

    ReplyDelete
  14. A pineapple cleanse sounds great, actually - wonder if it will do the trick? :)

    Maybe you should invent a laptop lapdance... ;)

    Sorry about the ker-plooey oven - we had some issues over the Christmas weekend that made me want to pull my hair out. :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Gosh, I never though of that about the laptop. I guess I'm about too old anyway to dream of children. Hm
    "A few days ago, the oven knob fell off"
    made me laugh out loud.
    Start with pineapple.
    Love your writing. Made me smile.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Always love your writing.

    Our New Year's purchase? Oxygen sensor for the car, co-pay for surgery, and a fucking partridge in a pear tree.

    ReplyDelete

so... wadaya think?

Your fairy is called Columbine Icedancer
She is a bone chilling bringer of justice for the vulnerable.
She lives in mushroom fields and quiet meadows.
She is only seen when the bees swarm and the crickets chirrup.
She wears lilac and purple like columbine flowers. She has icy blue butterfly wings.